If you're on the fence about using one due to the expense/lack of hot water option, I'd recommend trying one of the cheap ($30-50) inline cold water bidets with customizable pressure. People have a misconception that the cold water is shocking or uncomfortable, but in my experience it's actually quite soothing, and you can modify the pressure down to just a trickle to reduce that cold feeling.
I've gotten so used to it that I find myself reaching for it when I'm out in the world, even installing them in (willing) friends houses! It really does feel barbaric to use TP alone nowadays.
During covid, I was staying with a friend and they refused to let me install one cause they were afraid their kid would flood the house. Fair point that I couldn't really argue with given how they were putting me up at a time when I needed a place.
Children will be startled, entertained, and then never do it again (in my experience).
In general, not having useful objects around the house because kids might misuse them deprives the tiny scientist of critical self-educational opportunities.
I got a cheap one with hot and cold water hookups. I decided to try it with just the cold water before bothering to connect the hot. It's been years now, and I still haven't connected the hot water.
I am up in chilly canada and its nice even at minus 40 out. I got my inlaws in the yukon to install them and its even nice up there at christmas. None of us have any desire to buy the heated ones. The cheap cold water only is lovely.
I guess you have warm water trapped in your pipes. In some places, even washing your hands with cold tap water is painful in the winter, and that must have something to do with how houses are built.
Things actually freeze here so we bury those lines deep enough that that is unlikely. It's definitely warmer than my 3 degrees celsius cold plunge tank, but it's still cold. The relatives in the yukon pull water from a frozen lake all year long and it's probably as cold as the plunge tank if you run it long enough, but that's also still fine. Most people's buttholes aren't as sensitive to cold as you think they are.
I got introduced to this when I moved to Vietnam in 2016. I seriously don't know how I ever lived with toilet paper before.
The comparison I make is, if you had sh1t on your hands, would you use a tiny piece of thin paper to clean it off, or go wash your hands in the sink. How is it that the place you probably can't see, is special somehow?
When I came back to the US and eventually bought a place, I remodeled my house myself and when I did the bathroom, I splurged and installed a fancy $700 Chinese knockoff tankless toilet that I got off Amazon [0]. Heated seat, warm water for the bidet, auto flushes when you stand up. Pure heaven.
In addition, I plumbed in a separate bum gun with a holder/valve coming out of the wall. These are super cheap to buy on aliexpress [1]. Best decisions ever.
I removed the toilet paper holder entirely and just installed a hook on the wall for a small hand towel to dry myself. After all, my rear is clean at that point.
For the occasional heathen guests, I keep a roll of TP around... sigh.
The real-life reasons I've heard people decry bidets are absolutely bonkers. Reasons ranging from "why would I want a wet butt" to genuine beliefs that using a bidet was a manifestation of homosexuality. It's wild how insecure some people are in this country, and how unwilling they are to Even try something like a bidet.
The wetness is literally solved by a single square of tp post-cleaning. Attachments are available that can be installed on any toilet, so the "I'm a renter" excuse doesn't hold water either. Not even going to address the sexuality concerns-- I honestly think anyone who believes that shouldn't be welcome on HN.
I've never, ever heard anything about bidets manifesting homeosexuality, and I've known some pretty homophobic people in the past. Can you elaborate more on what that connection is and/or how it works, because I'm genuinely intrigued.
> I honestly think anyone who believes that shouldn't be welcome on HN.
Why? It seems absurd and laughable to you and me, but I'm certain we also have beliefs that others on HN would find absurd. Why should the conversation be stifled? If you have absurd beliefs currently and others try to exclude you, how are you ever supposed to correct (or even challenge) your beliefs if you can never talk about it?
I've also had several discussions in real life where people have told me that bidets are "gay", most recently by both my realtor and then my home inspector. The topic was prompted because the house I bought had a plug installed right next to each toilet in the house for bidet attachments.
Thanks, although (I didn't read every single comment but did read a lot of them) those just seem to be about people complaining about other people thinking they are gay, not somebody actually trying to defend that position. There is that one female who OPs a post about it, but I didn't see any actual argument from her other than "water in your ass is gay" but somehow not when it's in the shower? Anyway, you have convinced me that it is "a thing" but I'd (seriously) really love to understand why.
I hate making conclusions like this, but in this case it might just be this simple, that it is just a shallow emotional response to something unfamiliar that makes no logical/rational sense but is accepted by people who operate on emotion and don't make much use of the powerful Prefrontal Cortext that nature has gifted them, and happen to be from a cultural background that has weird superstitions about assholes :-)
Still though, if anybody knows anybody who feels this way who could explain it, I'd really love to hear a steelman defense.
Big fan of the "bum gun" style bidet. Ime, much more control and water pressure compared to what I've used in Japan. I was in Thailand recently and bought a few for use in the states. Use of anything less just doesn't feel sanitary.
I'm Italian and my female friends always complained a lot about the lack of bidets in other countries saying: "do local women shower many times a day when they have their period or how they cope?"
Having a bidet is the ideal, but without it, wipes (I recommend ultra-sensitive non-scented baby wipes) carried in your purse combined with regular changing of a pad or insert (depending on flow rates) will mostly keep the job done anywhere you need to go. In unusually dire situations, I'll grab a paper towel and wet it in the sink, but that's rare.
We focus a lot on luxury in the US, and I find the lack of adjustable bidets surprising.
It is pure luxury to be able to sit there, push a few buttons on a panel on the wall next to you, and have a warm jet of water wash you in exactly the place you need to be washed. The alternative - what virtually every American does to clean themselves - is comparatively barbaric.
I actually think some of the resistance to bringing bidets into the typical American household is pride - not wanting to admit that another people/country does something better. To adopt bidets would be to admit that we were in some way not as smart or as advanced as we think we are relative to the rest of the world. (This may sound ridiculous, but from what I experience in Texas I can attest that it is real.)
Although the article uses the term bidets, it seems to actually be about Japanese washlets rather than French-style bidets. But that may be complicated for some people too.
The way you can get around that complication is to remember not all things are equally important. In that spirit, America commends the cheese swilling surrender monkeys on adopting a clean bum policy comparatively early. We apologize for being tardy on this issue, we were too busy saving the free world to update our bum cleaning methodology as new tech became available.
Yes, it's a good bet that when someone is paraphrasing the simpsons in their choice of sick burns that they are being 100 % serious and not making a joke in response to an already downvoted french snide remark.
Unfortunately we don't all remember enough Simpsons to make the connection. Also very unfortunate is that the statement was indistinguishable from many statements made by HN users who have followed the Palmer Lucky path.
Japanese-style washlets are pretty uncommon outside of Japan generally. It's not an America thing. It does cost a fair bit of money to do an install (plumbing/electricity) if you're not having a major bathroom renovation anyway, given the average American hasn't been to Japan they're mostly not familiar with the concept, and just general reluctance to talk or think too much about toilet design.
I have one so I'm not talking about myself. But it seems to have long not to made it onto US radars as something you should have even in a high-end bathroom.
You don't need warm water / electricity - you get completely used to the water temp after using a week or so. The bidets on Amazon (pretty cheap) work just fine and install onto most toilets in 10 minutes. Super easy and affordable.
> A common reason why bidets aren’t used in the US is that during World War 2, American soldiers saw brothels utilizing bidets. When they came back to United States, they shunned the bidet because of the connotations.
ofc something sex-related would sink an obviously good idea in the US.
Regardless, we purchased our first bidet in 2017 after I used one in an office I visited. It completely changed how I use the bathroom.
Any bathroom without one is neanderthal to me.
The idea of using nothing but toilet paper to clean quite possibly the nastiest orifice on our bodies is mind-bending to me. (Wet wipes would be an improvement, but it's super hard to find even those in public restrooms.)
Even four-star+ hotels in the US won't have bidets! I carry my own when I travel. (The St. Regis in DC has a bum nozzle, but I think they carry those because everyone in the world comes to DC and most bathrooms of the world is with it and has at least these.)
We upgraded two of our toilets to TOTO Washlets last year. These changed the game AGAIN. THEY HAVE DRIERS. I didn't even know a dryer for your bum was possible!
I'm glad the US is finally coming to their senses on this very important topic.
i think most toilets here are plumbed without a hot water line nearby, and "tankless heaters" have been expensive. Especially the kinda small bespoke and super reliable kinda thing this application would demand.
there's a popular meme from someone who failed to realize that the wouldn't have hot water during a power outage; and the bidet specifically would be cold. "religious experience"
Bidet seats do not need a hot water line, but they do need a GFCI protected electrical outlet within 3' or so.
They have self contained water heaters, seat heaters, drying air heaters, and ozone based deodorizers. They pre-mist the bowl sides when your first sit down to help keep the bowl clean. It's a pretty magnificent device. It's 25% of the way through the 21'st century, and I may not have a flying car just yet, but at least I have a robot to care for my tushy.
Prior to installing bidet seats throughout the house, we had handheld bidets that were attached to the cold water line. It's really never immanentized a "religious experience" so far as I have noted, and while the heated one is certainly more pleasant, a cold water bidet seems to function pretty well for hundreds of millions of people around the world.
The cheap ($50 or so IIRC) bidet I have gets cold water from the toilet and hot water from the sink. No power hook-up. Has none of that other fancy stuff you mentioned.
Not exactly sure what you mean by "bidet seat" vs "handheld bidet" based on context, but mine goes under a regular seat (seat isn't replaced) with controls jutting out the side. I have also used what I'd call a handheld bidet during an extended water outage. It was a squeezy rubbery thing from Amazon, a bit like a cycling water bottle, and I'd fill it up with water from a jug or sink depending on where I was (was not "attached to the cold water line"), then it squirts out water from an angled plastic tip. I found I had to be a lot more efficient with that to get the job done on one fill, but it was certainly better than nothing.
Thinking on it more, maybe your handheld was like a pressure washer, totally separate from the toilet, and what I had in mind would be called "portable".
Have you met Americans? We are addicted to comfort. You will certainly get cleaner using a bidet but a jet a cold water spraying your rear end seems like it would be quite uncomfortable. Caveat, like most Americans I have not tried it.
It's really not that uncomfortable at all. Buy one on Amazon and try it, they're 20 bucks and take 5 minutes to install with no tools. That's less than one package of Costco toilet paper these days.
So far as I know, I've been an American for the ~50 decades I've been on this planet, and I'd say ~85% of the people I interact with on a day to day basis were born in America. I've observed that it is a common American trait to form strongly held views about things where one has no experience, and to defend those views fiercely. The Dude said it best.
Japanese bath areas are 99% of the time separate from toilets. And the Toto models don't require a hot water line. Yet its pretty common to have heated jet functions. These models allow these features. Its more to do with economics of widespread availability.
The ones I have used in the last few years all have a small instant warmer unit. Japanese homes don't always have access to hot water tank & even the shower space is serviced by a electronically activated gas heater.
Source: I live here in JP, and my parent company's main revenue stream is from gas heaters OEM, heating appliances and even bespoke plumbing & installations.
None of the "washlet" toilet attachments need a hot water line. They have built-in heaters and heat the water coming in from the cold water line.
Whole-house battery backup is a modern marvel, too. (We have 80KWH of stored battery capacity and it shifts grid load to non-peak hours to save huge amounts of money.)
What you say about plumbing is likely true for public bathrooms but it doesn't explain why home bidets aren't really a thing either. In a home it's unusual to NOT have hot water near a toilet (be it for a sink or shower).
Hot water without a nearby tank can come out cold for several seconds. It’s not instant in most US homes unless the plumbing is near the tank. In my house (small footprint) one bathroom would have fast warm/hot water to a bidet. The rest would take 20-30 seconds like the sink and baths (for the full bath bathrooms).
Indeed, most places I've lived in the US had a 20 to 30 second delay until the water came out hot. I once installed a small under-the-sink electric water heater for a bathroom that took over a minute to heat up (and never really got hot) and I've never talked with anyone else with something similar, so I don't think it's common.
A hot water tap, yes, everyone's got one. Actual hot water coming out of it immediately, less likely. My bathroom faucet takes a good 25 seconds to get to maximum hot, mostly from distance (WH is in the garage) and partly from being a low flow faucet. A bidet has a very small flow rate, so for my situation, a self-heated reservoir is the only way to get immediate warm water.
I'm sure a warm bidet would be more pleasant, but as an American with a bolt-on solution that simply pipes water in from the tank-fill line, a cold one is completely fine. Does the job a-okay and maybe I'd feel differently if I grew up in a first-world country with a heated one being the norm, but I dunno. I still miss it like hell when on business trips.
However, my friend in Chicago has said that solution can be significantly more brisk in Winter when the water lines are several degrees cooler than Summer.
For years I had heard people online talk about how amazing a bidet is. When visiting Japan I was interested to see what the fuss was all about. I hated it. I tried it multiple times, multiple different ones. I hated them all. I eventually gave up and pretended they weren't there.
During the pandemic, when toilet paper was hard to come by, I did consider it as a backup plan. Thankfully, it never came to that.
This was probably 7 years ago, so it's not extremely fresh it my mind, but... It seemed to hurt more than it helped. It didn't clean everything up, and then everything was wet... and toilet paper isn't great at dealing with water. So I then had to dry things off, and then wipe, pretty much as normal.
Occasionally with a standard toilet I'll get Poseidon's kiss, and as gross as that might be, I can see the benefits of introducing water into the equation. However, with the bidet, it seemed like the water didn't clean stuff up, it just added water into the mix.
It's fully possible that I was doing it wrong. I tried to look up stuff online to learn what I might be doing wrong, but didn't find much. It was mostly just jokes or people glossing over the whole thing. I get it, it's an awkward topic, and if someone didn't learn growing up from their parents, or have a lot of time and will to experiment with it, it probably wouldn't go well.
When I was in India there were sprayers next to the toilets, the type we generally have next to the kitchen sink in the US. I wasn't brave enough to even attempt to use those in a public setting. Sanitary concerns aside, I wasn't sure how I'd possibly use it without making a mess.
I honestly prefer my low tech cold water bidet at home vs the fancy ones in Japan. The water pressure from those just isn't high enough. The cheapo $15 one I got off Amazon though will blast everything right off.
A few years back I attended a conference at Google's Sunnyvale campus and every stall had a high-end TOTO Washlet installed. At the time I had the cheapie Amazon type at home but that trip convinced me to get a TOTO.
Many people have a fascination with cleaning their body parts and looking at the cleaning product to confirm that the dirty stuff is gone. Toilet paper gives you that’s satisfaction.
Unlike hands, you can't visually inspect your butt as you wash it to ensure that it's clean—you just have to trust that it's working. I do see the attraction to being able spot-check with toilet paper to see that things are coming clean.
The point isn't hands vs. butt and visibility. It is whether or not TP actually does the job of cleaning and/or just provides some sort of spot-check, which in reality, isn't cleaning anything.
In this case, our noses are probably a better metric. If you used your fingers to touch your ass after wiping and then smelled them, would you wipe more with dry TP, or would you wash it off another way?
It is odd to me that anyone would argue that TP would do a better job in this case.
Most American houses have at least one full bathroom, a room with a toilet bowl and a shower. Also most Americans shower several times a day as water and heat are pretty affordable for the vast majority. Having a special shower for your butt hooked to the toilet seems redundant to me. I just take a shower after I take a dump, pretty convenient and I don't need to run a 240V line to any toilets too...
Imagining bidets in some of the public toilets I've seen over the years...
yeah no
ive seen gas station bathrooms where i really wanted to wash my feet after "2 steps in, 2 steps out, go pee on a tree".
On the other hand, they keep talking up "fecal transplants" as a health panacea; public bidets would probably achieves that. Get the "public health" people on it, there's probably grant money to be had, at least.
#1 infuriates me on a regular basis. Yet another data point on why I would rather WFH - I like my privacy when I am on the john.
I do not care at all if someone wants to use the bathroom for sex or drugs or whatever other pearl-clutching deviation is supposed to be deterred by the bathroom gaps,
Not American but I can't stand using the toilet in places which don't have bidets. I feel disgusting and it ruins my day completely. I'd rather be uncomfortable and wait til I'm home or not go out.
In an emergency, in a public restroom... after the normal TP mechanics, you can follow that up with some TP that's been wetted in the sink. Then dry TP to dry.
Optionally, the tough and brave can add a tiny bit of whatever hand soap of unknown formulation is available. You'll need additional passes of wet TP to rinse.
Not-recommended: Some people carry those supposedly 'flushable' wet wipe products, but I think those are known to cause problems for plumbing and sewage systems.
(I'd better not get hit by a bus today, because I don't want this to be my final HN comment. :)
I don’t like fancy seats on my loo and prefer a standalone bidet.
I loathe having to poo in public toilets. Where available, I’ll buy pre-moistened, disposable towels. If unavailable, I’ll use the sink as a bidet and either wet towels or use my hand, if there’s privacy. Better than walking around feeling disgusting.
genuinely asking because in the past I shaved various body areas, and the stubble caused some irritation that seems ... unpleasant ... to experience around my asshole. is that a problem one encounters with shaving?
Same, I've been seeing a lot of downvoting for reasons that aren't at all clear. Usually that happens on threads that are very opinionated or emotional, but I don't know why this one would qualify. It might be cultural and the downvoters come from a culture where such discussions are taboo? /shrug
I am kind of appalled that the article and a lot of people in the comments seem to take the Bidet as an _alternative_ to toilet paper.
That is absolutely not the case in countries like Italy and Portugal. You simply use _both_. Washing yourself with soap and water after you wiped with toilet paper is unquestionably another level of hygiene.
It is also shocking that the article makes very little difference between a toilet seat with water jet and an actual bidet.
>I am kind of appalled that the article and a lot of people in the comments seem to take the Bidet as an _alternative_ to toilet paper.
It's such a weird quirk of online discourse: any worthwhile alternative has to be a 100% drop-in replacement with no costs or trade-offs. The same thing happens in discussions of biking/transit/car balance.
You can use a bidet (or bidet attachment) with toilet paper. You'll feel much cleaner, get clean quicker, and use way less paper in the process vs. using paper only.
I think people are confusing the sort of bidet you may see in a European hotel/home with a Japanese Toto washlet sort of thing--even though the bidet term is also sometimes used for the latter. (And, yes, for the latter in my experience you still use some TP.)
It’s quite astonishing that in this day and age, some individuals still prefer paper over water for personal hygiene. Toilet paper is gross, unhygienic, expensive, and environmentally unfriendly, which is ironic seeing some hardcore “don’t print an email, save a tree” person, but don’t mind cutting a whole forest to wipe his arse.. The production of toilet paper is also water-intensive, consuming approximately 6 gallons of water per roll (1), which is significantly more than the roughly eighth gallon of water used per use of a bidet (2).
Yes for cheap bidets but you need substantially less (think one sheet) to dry up versus needing 1/10th of the Amazon rainforest to achieve the same result
Swedish people used to have them but decided that using soap to clean yourself wasn't a priority any more. So grandparents had them, but the technology has been lost.
I don't think hygiene is necessarily associated to country development. E.g. people in South America tend to shower more often than people in some parts of Europe [1].
America is very backwards and hilariously underdeveloped in some areas especially in day to day life. The fact that the parent comment calls toilet paper "sandpaper" is another example.
You can, but that doesn't mean everyone gets to enjoy it. And I'm not specifically talking about bidets. There are many convenient things used daily in Europe and Asia that are extremely rare in USA.
Developing countries like France, where the word bidet comes from? (although to be fair my generation didn't use them, until recently when the Japanese-style bidet started picking up)
The other 2 countries I know of where bidets are widely common are the ultra-modern Korea and Japan.
Not really? They're a French invention, Japan and Korea have been using them for ages, and they are fairly popular in Western Europe. All of the above are highly developed.
I think they meant the piece of furniture, cleaning with water however, been there for centuries before, I think all cultures and civilizations did it when they can, and only fall back to papers if water wasn’t available.
Being an American who never used a bidet until my 30s, but having now tried it out, it really does seem barbaric wiping your ass with toilet paper after experiencing the advancements of civilization.
That said, water isn't always effective at cleansing for all people, in every situation. Sometimes you do need the ability to apply a little more force than what a jet of water can do without causing discomfort. We probably need a product that complements the bidet approach but still allows you to dig in there with some targeted and managed pressure when you need to.
I'm ignorant on this aspect, and would appreciate enlightenment. Is soap used in most?
I've never seen anywhere to put soap, and no controls for it's usage, and I would imagine this would need controls to ensure adequate rinsing, but my exposure has mostly been hotel rooms. I imagine that is something that would need to be refilled?
Argentine here. Italian bidets are just a sink you can sit on, with a faucet on the rear. You clean yourself using your hands. Argentine bidets are also a sink you can sit on, but they have a shower pointing up to your rear. There's basically two ways to go: don't use your hands down there and let the water pressure do its thing, then go back to the toilet and dry with TP; or use your hands and soap and dry with a towel.
In the US they're popular among the rich who can afford houses.
Everyone who doesn't have $5 million to afford a house has to use a normal toilet.
If you live in the US, I challenge you to find 10 renters in your area that have a bidet or whose landlord actually gives a shit (ha ha) about their tenants' bum health.
Here's a $25 bidet [1] that I use that's compatible with most toilets. I guess a landlord could install a bidet in their apartment's toilets but I fail to see how this is a class issue.
Maybe for an actual porcelain bidet in $5M house. I have at least 10 friends that all rent that have bidets, ranging from a Tushy cold water to high end Toto ones.
You can buy one with all the bells and whistles for < $300 on Amazon. 2 minutes to install. I’ve had to use an extension cord (kept dry, and into GFCI outlet) if there isn’t a convenient outlet for the heated water/seat/dryer ones.
A lot less effort than mounting/unmounting a $300 TV and the quality of life improvement is so great I’m actually willing to talk about how I clean feces off my anus in semi-public.
I’ve been renting since 2019 and I’ve had a bidet since 2020. When I moved I took the bidet with me. It’s a cheap one that get installed under the toilet seat, but definitely gets the job done.
The fancy tankless TOTO washlets range between $3-15k. That's a lot but not completely inaccessible.
The non-integrated TOTO Washlets range from $400-$1000. These have heated water, heated seats, heated dryer, a carbon air freshener and a remote. Some have auto-closing lids too. Definitely accessible for many in the HN crowd.
I have a cheap $30 removable bidet on my main toilet. Cold water only but hasn't been an issue for me. I've used some of the fancy toto ones and they're awesome but the one I have gets the job done 90% as well
$5 million for a house? I haven't looked recently but for most parts in the US, that sounds like outside of normal range. I know for a fact that our house is not worth $5 million.
You need $5 million to afford a $1-2 million house if you want to have any money left over for retirement and emergency medical expenses in the US which can easily bankrupt you. That's not including emergency fund for famine or war given the direction the country is going to go with either of the current 2 president choices. If you had $5 million you wouldn't be smart to blow it all on a $5 million house, either.
Houses cost $1-2 million in any city that actually has jobs. Yeah, you can get a shack in Kansas for $200k but good luck finding work there.
Nothing wrong with renting, it's not gonna come with a bidet though.
I don't understand how this comment could even be made in earnest. Normal people don't buy their house with cash, they get a mortgage with a reasonable down payment and a monthly sum they can afford.
Your claim here is that someone who is buying a house, likely early-mid in their career at 25-40 years old, needs to pay for a million dollar house in cash while also having $3-4 million dollars additional cash reserves? For retirement, which they won't be doing for 30 years? What?
> Normal people don't buy their house with cash, they get a mortgage with a reasonable down payment and a monthly sum they can afford.
And this is why "normal people" are broke.
I don't buy stuff with money I don't have. It should never be "normal" to do so.
> For retirement, which they won't be doing for 30 years? What?
They job might be obsolete in 5 years with AI on the horizon.
War may break out given the current incompetents for presidency.
Climate change is happening.
If I had $1 million I would be saving it up and investing it for potential hard times coming, not blow it on a $1 million house.
If I had $5 million, sure, I might throw $1 million of it at a house.
The only time I would take a loan is if I have the cash but I believe I could significantly beat the loan interest rate by investing the balance in something else, AND I have other stable assets in case my plan doesn't work.
Having a mortgage on a house doesn't make you "broke". Just because you are exceedingly conservative with money doesn't mean your standards preclude the average person from obtaining a home.
If your net worth is negative, you are literally, by definition, broke.
If you took out more loans than you have assets, you are broke.
Yeah, the US economy is f'ed up, roofs to live under should not be this expensive. If you think a huge fraction of the economy borrowing money at high interest rates to have basic life necessities, despite being employed, is normal, you have been brainwashed by the system.
If you take out a million dollar loan for a million dollar house, then your net worth is 0. Which is actually a pretty stupid starting point, because most people wouldn't buy a house and get a mortgage without having savings. In other words, if you have $300k 401k, 300k liquid savings, and then buy a $1m house with an $800k mortgage then your net worth is $400k + $100k + $1m - $800k or, in other words, +$700k.
Yes some people push it, no that's not what I'm talking about, as your argument was that you must have enough assets to purchase a house cash before you can "not be broke buying a house."
390k 1,000 ft starter home, two bedrooms two bathrooms, in a literal beachfront town in southern California where you are at most a 10-minute walk from the water. Oh you're picturing something more mcmansion like, sorry that may take a little extra creativity and luck. But you absolutely do not need to spend 2 million, 1 million or even half a million, to live in a highly desirable area in this country. It took me all of about 30 seconds to find, granted I live in the area and have a general sense of where to look for something like this but zooming around the map will find dozens of such examples.
This house is 390K. A few pennies short of a million much less 2.
All in, because sellers pay all fees so the price shown is 95-100% what you pay.
With decent credit you could get this with 10% down, now 40K in the bank is not exactly couch money but it's nowhere near beyond the reach of a single person, much less a couple, before kids and who jointly make an absolutely reasonable 70 to 90k combined given the area that you'd be in.
a-There are very few jobs in Carsbad unless you want to work at a fast food joint. Commuting from there to San Diego or LA (where there are jobs) is not realistic. Being a 10 minute walk from the water doesn't buy you food to eat, unless you plan on fishing every day, nor does it pay for property taxes and other idiotic fees.
b-Buying stuff with money you don't have should never be the "default" way to do things. If you don't have the cash you can't afford it.
In the USA, not at all. I've only ever seen them in rich peoples' homes that they purchased. I have not once seen a rental property in the US with a bidet.
I've gotten so used to it that I find myself reaching for it when I'm out in the world, even installing them in (willing) friends houses! It really does feel barbaric to use TP alone nowadays.