I thought I was a great developer for the last 5 years. Turns out I'm trash, and that's OK. The real value I bring is being a mediocre developer with great interpersonal skills and great communication ability.
Soft skills are just as important as tech skills.
Also, make sure you excerscise and eat right. So much pain and suffering can be avoided by just spending a couple hundred dollars on a nutrition class in your teens, and going on an hour walk each day.
This is absolutely correct. I'd go one step further and say over-communicate as needed. It's not stupid to ask questions. Ask away, process, and clarify.
Don't don't. At your age you can avoid to burn the candle at both ends and in the middle (joke courtesy of Redd Foxx). Everyone telling you to not do X is just telling you that they had a problem with X.
The only piece of advice I can provide which I think is provably correct is to put as much money as you can spare into an S&P 500 index fund.
Habits and things I wish I knew when I was 18 (currently 39):
- Exercise daily
- Sleep 7+ hours a day
- If you smoke cigarettes, stop immediately.
- Read a lot of history, avoid the new, self help books. They will be in the 50 cent bin in a few years, and if they are that good, you will hear about them later.
- Learn about compound interest, avoid debt, and live within your means (the money you are saving now will be worth the most later in life, invest in Vanguard funds)
- Travel as much as possible
- Interact with people that think different from you, especially politically
- Realize that (4) applies to knowledge, if you learn 5% more per week than your co-worker, you will many times more knowledgable after a few short years.
- If you're in the US, dont pay attention to the news.
- avoid all religions
- avoid sugar.
- severely limit your use of social media (it's 100% dead time)
- if you're not bilingual, learn a second language
- utilize spaced repetition as much as possible.
- invest in yourself (avoid get rich schemes)
- realize that accomplishing big things takes a lot of time, a lot of work, and a lot of luck. have patience and perseverance, and dont compare your accomplishments to those of others
If you are not from the south and move to the south, you will inevitably pick up a southern accent. It is unavoidable. This type of osmosis true of relationships too. You will pick up parts of your spouse's personality, for better or worse.
Depends what age you are when you move - under 20 you will change accent completely, over 25 you will hardly change at all, but will use different words/slang.
I love this. This reminds me of a personal tradition I have come up with for birthdays called "Two questions". If I'm invited to someone's birthday, I ask two questions:
- What was the most important thing that you learned this year?
- What was your favorite memory?
The main reason behind this is to learn about the person themselves and to also learn from their experience so maybe I don't have to first hand.
Outside of that, here's a brain dump of things I wish younger me knew and internalised sooner.
- Sleep is paramount for your long term health.
- Find an athletic pass time that you enjoy. I like mountain biking, find what you like.
- Stop consuming news and social media.
- Make reading a habit.
- Journal daily.
- Make writing second nature.
- Don't underestimate the unreasonable effectiveness of showing up every day. Doing a little of something every day is far better than doing mostly nothing every day.
- Define your sense of accomplishment. Don't be fooled by mimesis.
- You are more of a garden than a machine. Recognise that some days you don't feel good and some days you feel on top of the world.
- Appreciate your body's faculties. I've been sick recently and have realised how little I appreciate my ability to do even the most basic of things until I fall ill. Don't let that be the case.
Travel, but learn the languages of the place you go to while it's still easier. Best decision of my life to start doing this and now I spend a lot of time doing what I'd be doing anyways in terms of a career path but with the added benefit of knowing how easy it is to spend a few hundred dollars and do the same thing but in a paradise with nice weather and beautiful people.
Drugs and booze - Go easy on these things, alot of people here are saying total abstinence and that's a hilarious thing to tell an 18 year old. Just go easy on them. Keep your focus on relationships instead and realize that these things can be an impediment to that. Don't touch stimulants or opiates, even if prescribed take with caution.
Learn finance. Personal finance, economics, all the math around it. It will make your life a lot easier down the line when you don't have to worry about money as much as others who missed that. Keep spreadsheets. Above all don't get greedy and your fortunes will soar.
If you end up in a work situation which is coercive or horrible in any way because of the management or horrible toxic coworkers (abusive boss, whatever) bounce the fuck out and find something else, and leave a bad review on glassdoor for them. The job market is waaaaaaay too much in demand for this stuff for people to be doing stupid socially lame things to alienate developers and engineers but it happens anyways because people don't have the nuts to back out. Just do it quietly without making a huge uproar about it, and make sure you have something lined up ahead. Chances are that this will happen to you but your reaction to it will determine whether you maintain passion for your career or end up finding something else to do with your life.
Learn how to cook. Make friends with people who do that professionally, like on a gastro chef level. Fun friends to have and it's just a great skill that will save you a ton of money in the long run from not going out to eat.
Anyone giving you advice is giving you advice colored by their own experiences. When you do get advice, you'll have to translate it from their world to yours. If you don't understand someone's experiences and they don't understand yours, then it's unlikely you'll be able to translate it.
Just to pick an example--if you talk to an academic advisor in college, think about what kind of person becomes an academic advisor in the first place. Are they the kind of person you are?
Take a look at this [0] thread, from a 44 year old person. Often, people discuss their problems more frankly anonymously. Many grown adults are also figuring it out.
I have some personal advice, which amounts to:
1) stay in shape/ healthy
2) stay in touch with friends and family
3) try as many new things as you reasonably can - no, not drugs - yes, a new sport, hobby, or travel experience
4) be mindful of how you are going to eat/support yourself before committing to expensive and multi-year commitments
5) discipline is a skill that you can learn and improve and is helpful in daily life
Good luck, I wish someone had told me the above and I had to learn each the hard way.
But if you do, know the thresholds. Hard liquor is what really messes people up. Don't drink alone. Don't hang out with people who insist you drink. Never drink because of feelings.
People usually overestimate what they can do in a year and underestimate what they can do in 10 years.
Perception is reality. This is true of how you see the world and how people see you.
Convenience is like sugar - it is sweet and addictive and adds less to your life than you think. Finding ways of doing things that build connection to your community rather than cut you off (Prefer farmers markets to grocery stores and grocery stores to meal-delivery kits) will give you opportunities for meaningful connections every day.
Oh, and try mushrooms, but take them seriously and have a guide you trust and respect sit with you.
Understand that few people, at least in Western culture, attain wealth or social status from whatever their passion(s) may be.
If your passion(s) is associated with a relatively low-paying career, consider the possibility of keep your passion(s) as a hobby, and pursue a career that pays well and allows you time for your hobby/passion outside of work.
Understand the tremendous power of long-term, compound interest. Saving money does not seem important at 18, but doing it now makes life a hell of a lot easier down the road.
Also, establish a credit history with something like a secured credit card.
Start putting away money now in to savings and/or index funds. Make it automatic if possible. Compound interest is a hell of a thing, and starting now can make a huge difference. At the very least, make sure you've got money set aside as an emergency fund.
Be disciplined about what you spend your money on. Don't buy things you can't afford. Think hard about if the thing you want to buy is a a "want" or a "need". (I.e. I want a new phone all the time, but if I'm honest with myself, I don't need one. So I don't buy one). You may need a car, but you likely don't need a brand new one when you can get one second hand for significantly cheaper, even ones just a few years old.
Always pay your credit card bill every single month.
Just being disciplined with money doesn't necessarily mean missing out on stuff in life, but it will mean way less stress, and being able to comfortably know if you can actually afford something.
Don't be in a rush to start a career. The career advantage to starting out at 18 vs 25 is negligible in the long run, and no one thinks twice about a 25 year old applying to entry level jobs.
You might as well take a few years to travel and make friends and do interesting things now because it will most likely be the only time in your life to do it.
I had typed out my comment already but it's basically identical advice to this one, so I'm going to move it here as a way of just emphasizing the above advice!
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If you're on HN it's plausible you're advanced relative to your peers, either in your education or in your career. Don't use that to rush your way into adulthood! You have the rest of your life to do adult things, but you only get ~730 more days of being a teenager in your whole life.
Concretely: if you're ahead in your education, don't skip college, but instead use your aheadness to make time to learn more things. If you're ahead in your employability, don't jump into maximizing your $$$ but instead look for interesting personal growth opportunities.
Try to max out your 401k or contribute as much as possible as early as possible and invest it into low-cost index funds. Compounding interest is one of the most powerful wealth builders there is, but it only works over long periods of time. What you put in now while you're young will be worth significantly more than putting in larger contributions later.
Funds to buy: VOO (S&P 500), VT (or VTSAX) (Global Total Stock Market), VTI (US Total Stock Market).
After that, I'd say buy a fast car while you're young and can enjoy it. But don't buy new. 90s sports cars were better anyway.
Finally, focus on relationships, use the things you love to do as a way to meet people and build relationships. The relationships you make now are what will sustain you as an adult. It's much harder to make friends at 30 than it is at 18.
Don't spend too much time working on computers, or any other one thing, even if you're super into it. When you're young is a great time to start making social connections, so try to meet new people, expose yourself to new things. You're more likely to make lifelong friends when you're young, meet your spouse, etc. You don't make many new friends as you get older.
As far as relationships: remember that most of us see the world through what we want and how we feel, rather than seeing what a different person wants or feels. We can trick ourselves into thinking everything in a relationship is fine, because we feel fine... meanwhile the other person doesn't feel fine. Put yourself in their shoes, ask yourself (and them) what they want, how they feel. Develop Emotional Intelligence.
* Time Flies. Live aggressively to get where you want to be.
* You'd be surprised just how easily, quickly, and reliably those "fun" social drinkers turn into well-functioning alcoholics at best. Watch the booze. Don't get a DUI, and don't get into the car of a someone who's been drinking.
* Exercise/Train consistently, don't underestimate breadth in your training. (Strength, Endurance, Stamina, Explosive Strength, flexibility) are your main categories. The big thing is to do it CONSISTENTLY.
* Eat well. Ditch sugars/soda/cheap easy carbs, etc. Build a habit of well-balanced nutrition. Don't ever rely on will-power. It's way easier to eat healthy if that's all the food you buy to stock your fridge and pantry at home
* Do your best to live on somewhere between 15-50% of your income. Invest the rest in an S&P 500 index.
* Get laid as often as you can.
* Don't ditch a good relationship for the above
* Don't stay in a bad relationship for the above
* At the end of the day, you are what you repeatedly do. Where you'll be in 10 years depends a ridiculous amount on what decisions you're going to make in the next 15 minutes.
* On that note, who you are to others is usually based on what you do, not who you think you are.
* There's a LOT of efficiency to be gained by finding someone who's good at a thing you want to be good at and asking/paying them to train you to do it.
* Over the next decade, you're frequently going to find yourself in situations where there's some cognitive dissonance in what you're doing, saying, who you're hanging out with, etc. Learn to notice that little nagging voice, and then reflect on what's causing that friction in yourself. That's you figuring out who you actually are.
* On that note of reducing those frictions: Live your life so that you never feel you need to lie to anyone about anything you do openly or privately.
You will regret nearly every instance you choose a course of action that people will convince you is the "right" idea, vs. what you feel in your gut is right.
As someone approaching "middle age", I can count on one hand the number of times I regret "choosing myself" vs. what is more socially/logically acceptable. On the other hand, time and again I tried to go with the flow and not ruffle any feathers and it was disastrous.
Cultivate a practice of personal empowerment (meditation/mindfulness, essentialism, etc.) and intentionally hone your instincts. Then trust them. Honestly, it's like having a superpower. I wish I'd known this 20 years ago.
The difference between being an adult and a child is that an adult can be relied upon. That's it. That's the whole secret.
Age has nothing to do with it. You won't some day reach some magical age where you decide "I'm an adult." You may reach some day when you wake up and realize a lot of people rely on you to do the right thing. Congratulations; you've completed the only adulthood rite of passage that is consensus-shared in many cultures. Everything else is a lifetime of growth and gaining new skills and abilities through mostly trial and error, and there is no age where those end.
Bear your duties with pride and savor the joys of life.
Don't stress too much about your education or career. Procastinate doing things you find interesting, but at the same time strengthen niche skills. Party now, when you hit 30 the hangovers will most likely be unbearable and take too much time. Live in a dorm and travel abroad alone, this will let you meet people you wouldn't have otherwise. Go to festivals. Have one night stands and non-binding relationships. Make mistakes and do stupid stuff, you will learn from it. Be a part of a subculture. Try not to hurt peoples feelings. Be nice and people will reprociate. Have fun.
15 years ago, I was 2 years older than you are today, and I joined what was then Startup News. Back in those days, Paul Graham regularly presided over this place and often personally moderated the forum. Ahh…I’m digressing.
My advice, since you’ve asked, is to start a software startup. Take PGs advice and use this opportunity to try to be ramen profitable… before you accumulate bad, and expensive habits ( like kids! ) like the majority of the software technocrats here giving you advice today, and end up having to slave away for corporate America on the unending hedonic treadmill.
- Your personality, lifestyle, and communication habits become a blend of your 5-10 closest friends mannerisms. You won't notice this happening, but it happens. Choose wisely.
- Pick friends that will challenge you to be the best human you can be, but also people you're comfortable with so you can just hang and relax. Don't pick people that hold you back, exert control over you, or drag you down.
- Friendships don't always have to be geographically/locally convenient. It's totally acceptable to make friendships based on shared interests over the internet. And travel to meet and hang out with them. My friends in this category are far stronger than my "local" friends.
- Drugs aren't bad, but overuse of any drug absolutely is—this includes both one time binging (like at a party) or daily use.
- Ask for feedback from people you trust, in both life and work. This feels weird, but if you're asking the right people you can get great honest insight for how to be a better friend/coworker.
- In a relationship, work toward being 100% honest with your partner(s). Secrets always corrupt.
- Carve your own path through life, have insatiable curiosity toward everything, and fight the status quo to improve things for yourself and others. You don't need to go down the "default route", but make sure your chosen route fits your long term plan with a reasonable expectation for success (adjusted for your risk tolerance).
That's right, but I'm sure you agree that there are different levels of "not ready". I was thinking of writing "have kids when you no longer think it completely out of the question", but that's a bit complicated.
In the long run, it's much easier to learn to enjoy things than to look for things to enjoy.
Enjoy your time when you can. But you will never regret good habits you set for yourself.
This generation is the most lonely and chronically depressed one in modern history. We don't need to emulate our grandparents' lives, but don't feel the need to emulate what others around you are doing either.
Budget. Time is on your side for building wealth. Start investing 15-20% of your salary passively in to the stock market in the most tax efficient way possible. Do it and don't look back. Don't lose faith.
Start thinking about where you want to be when you're 30-35 (wife? Kids? Career?) because you'll be there before you know it.
Your brain is still growing and changing with much more ease than someone who is 25 or older. So use these years where you can quickly learn and adapt well. But the other side of that coin is that you aren't emotionally matured yet and will look back at your actions in these years with much different eyes.
Meet as many people as you can. Those worth contact - contact every 3 weeks or so. After university meeting new people becomes much more difficult.
Get a habit of daily excercise.
For work try to get at two things: so you are not the best but can combine something. Being good at one thing is good too. Being a generalist is good too.
If you are going to college consider taking a gap year to travel, learn to surf, get a job, etc. Learn how to find a place to live, shop for groceries, cook, get a job, manage a budget, and explore a new city. Skills like these will make you better at college and post-college life.
Best advice: work your body, take it to the highest level. Work the path for your profession, make it the way you enjoy it. Focus on becoming financially strong and then, when you're 30-35 think about family, girls, etc.
Read a variety of books. I read a lot when I was younger but regret that I stuck to a couple of genres and missed out on learning a lot more had I read a greater variety of books, something I did much later in life.
Invest as much of your income as you can, not to eventually be rich (which you likely could be), but as insurance against being stuck in a boring/miserable job just to pay the bills.
Just never ever cheat on your girlfriend/boyfriend. Break up with them for good first if you need to, but just don't cheat. It never works out for the best.
+1 on the health. At this point, you probably have a lot of time on your hands. Use some of that to learn how to be healthy. Exercise, food, cooking, etc.. are all deep rabbit holes to explore, so develop your baseline of knowledge and habits now so that you can fall back on them when life inevitably takes you away from them.
terrible advice, how can he explore the world without trying things? just sightseeing?
try weed and different things, you need to build a strong character and that you can only do if you understand your limits well
you might as well understand that life isn't a real competition and actually enjoy your life, unlike people that will give you advice about career and work, but dread their lives.
Eh... I know someone that hates opiates including heroin, they just made them feel sick and want to sleep it off. Some people though do one hit and that is forever after their jam.
I know some people that don't like cocaine, it makes them feel jittery and uncomfortable at best. Some people take a hit of coke and it takes over their whole night and that's all they want to do for the rest of the night. I was never impressed.
Nictoine, arguably one of the most addictive substances ever, has always been one of my least favorite substances (to the point of being substantially less preferable than abstaining) despite constant exposure to it in my 20's from my friends. I never liked the feelings I got from it. Too much makes me sick and even a little gives me a headache.
I think that individual variation in brain chemistry and receptor density / locations, etc matters a LOT in that category. The trouble is... you just don't know what your chemistry is and what your brain is gonna like.
Your own individual accomplishments don't matter one bit. There is a 99.9999% chance anything you do will be forgotten by the time you die. Unless you are absolutely brilliant (you're probably not), get a job that pays you enough to live comfortably (easy as a software engineer) and spend the rest of your time on developing relationships and helping people.
You can't improve yourself without feedback via communication.
You can't compromise without communication.
You can't have a meaningful relationship (work or romantic) without communication.
You can't build something useful without communicating with those you're building it for.
Life is all about communicating meaningfully with others. Don't put off figuring that out like I did.