> That people who talk the way you are have unresolved issues means they need therapy--it is not a license to hurt other people because they can't take care of themselves.
sadly you're also making a mistake expecting the victimizers to go out and get therapy.
as an analogy, it would be great if post-civil war impoverished whites had a round of therapy to adjust any racism they harbored towards blacks. more likely only addressing their economic situation was ever going to be effective.
there really is a causal relation between the high school cultural problem paul describes and the situation the op author encounters. that's probably the level we'll have to address this at.
I'm expecting the victimizers to not victimize people. They can get therapy, find Jesus, or just realize they're doing things that are wrong--I don't care which.
The high school cultural problem you're referring to, at least with regard to people who end up in tech fields, etc., seems to be much more along the lines of "they won't turn off their computers and go hang out with people." And I say that knowing full well that for most of high school that was me, too. Look inward, people.
Not practically. If your canonical nerd does not choose--choose--to act like a relatively normal[1] human being, then there's no helping them (unless they have parents who'll push them to actually do something, and maybe not even then). At some point, they've got to choose to leave the metaphorical and/or literal basement on their own.
Paul's point is not without merit, but it is not one that leads to a solution. "Get girls to date guys who aren't desirable" seems like a non-starter.
[1] - and "relatively normal" is pretty broad, especially in high school and college; there's a social group, and a social group that is not uniformly male, for everybody who actually wants to socialize.
sadly you're also making a mistake expecting the victimizers to go out and get therapy.
as an analogy, it would be great if post-civil war impoverished whites had a round of therapy to adjust any racism they harbored towards blacks. more likely only addressing their economic situation was ever going to be effective.
there really is a causal relation between the high school cultural problem paul describes and the situation the op author encounters. that's probably the level we'll have to address this at.