It's worthwhile to note that it's unclear if religion is so decidedly behind a shared sense of purpose among the people. E.g. Pakistan, an Islamic nation with 97% of its populace being Muslim, is littered with social problems, there is very much a lack of shared sense of purpose. I think culture and history are better candidates for what unites people together.
My apologies for getting off-topic, but if I may inquire: how is it, being atheistic and being married to a religious person? Isn't it difficult to work things out, when the other believes that you're destined to hell? To believe that there's nothing after death, and that there's a whole afterlife of heaven (or hell) is quite a gap. How do you reconcile with this, do you often try to convert her, or make her see things differently?
> I do lament not being able to participate in the communal aspect of religion. I haven't encountered any secular alternative.
There isn't really much to work out. She does believe in heaven and hell, but she also believes that God has a plan for everyone. We can't prove each other wrong so we don't find much point in arguing or debating the issue. The only potential sticking point is how we raise our daughter, which we've solved the way most couples solve things: doing what she wants. I think a child has a lot to gain, socially, being raised in a church, as long as we pick one that isn't preaching certain messages (anti-homosexuality or anti-feminism being the two important ones for me).
> how is it, being atheistic and being married to a religious person?
You didn't direct the question to me, but I was an agnostic married (then and now) to a fairly-serious Christian. These days I'm sort of in the believer camp, for reasons that I think are intellectually defensible [0]. I still don't subscribe to many of the official tenets of Christianity [1].
The key to that aspect of our marriage seems to be mutual love and -admiration --- which dictate respectful behavior --- while agreeing to disagree about certain matters theological. We each recognize that for all we know, both of us could be wrong.
We see the wisdom of Benjamin Franklin's approach: Concerning the divinity of Jesus, Franklin wrote, a few weeks before his death at age 84, that, "it is a question I do not dogmatize upon, ... and think it needless to busy myself with it now, when I expect soon an opportunity of knowing the truth with less trouble." [2].
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> Isn't it difficult to work things out, when the other believes that you're destined to hell?
Your premise won't always be true. I can't speak to what Muslims, Jews, etc., would believe, but most traditional Christians claim that even a deathbed conversion will be rewarded with eternal salvation. Such a Christian, married to an atheist, can thus hope that the loved one will still make it to heaven.
While some Calvinist-style Christians believe in pre-destination [3], they're in the minority. As I understand it, Calvinists don't claim to know who will go to heaven or to hell.
In liberal Christianity, there's a strain of universalist thought that says God would not punish finite sin with eternal damnation; therefore, everyone will make it to heaven eventually.
Finally, not all religious people believe in heaven or hell; some (like me) simply don't know what happens after death.
My apologies for getting off-topic, but if I may inquire: how is it, being atheistic and being married to a religious person? Isn't it difficult to work things out, when the other believes that you're destined to hell? To believe that there's nothing after death, and that there's a whole afterlife of heaven (or hell) is quite a gap. How do you reconcile with this, do you often try to convert her, or make her see things differently?
> I do lament not being able to participate in the communal aspect of religion. I haven't encountered any secular alternative.
There are atheist churches our there: http://firstchurchofatheism.com/
The one near me has quite a vibrant community. They do clean-ups, social work, etc. I have made many good friends there.