Considering homeschooling for my kids (4 and 7) when we move to Virginia. We have the best in the city of New Orleans and getting to the same level in Virginia seems prohibitive. My wife and I are deep in the research phase, reading, talking with people, conference in June, etc. Would like to get a sense of how many did it, and if you would share your thoughts, I'd appreciate it.
Never homeschooled
38 points
Started some college program in high school
17 points
home schooled all the way
15 points
Started homeschool/unschool some time in primary school
10 points
Started homeschool/unschool some time in high school
8 points
Started homeschool/unschool some time in middle school
I read the question as the OP wanting comments from people who were homeschooled, not parents who are homeschooling. I think this is very wise. I am not trying to make any particular point for or against; just that what parents think worked with their kids, and what kids think their parents did that worked is not always the same thing.
you're right. The literature from parents is staggering. The literature from the kids is impressive, but I wanted to get a snapshot from a community with whose norms I'm familiar.
For example, I've found that any random drop into the homeschooling literature is likely to land in a spot that includes a Christian values emphasis, and teasing out the diff is not exactly as easy as, well, diff.
i was homeschooled for a year in middle school as my family made the transition from private to public schools. the year of homeschooling allowed my parents to save some more money for a down payment on a house with good public schools. my brother was homeschooled at the same time - he is three years younger than me - for grade school.
I think home school is fine for primary school. once you get into middle and high school i am not as supportive. this may have been only my experience but i learn best when interacting with others - showing others what i learned and learning from others mistakes. this becomes more significant during middle school/high school as this is when more group tasks are assigned.
> I think home school is fine for primary school. once you get into middle and high school i am not as supportive.
Interesting. My thoughts are nearly the reverse.
We home-schooled one kid for one year (1st grade [U.S. terminology]), when we had some problems with the public schools, and then put them in public school for all the rest of it. We are considering starting up home-schooling for all of them some time in the middle/high school years, since that is when peer influences can become problematic, and sometimes dangerous.
Peer influences will inevitably be problematic and dangerous throughout the course of one's lifetime. If a teenager doesn't learn how to handle these influences in high school, then the dangers will invariably be exacerbated in adulthood.
Well, yes & no. The main problem is that high school is a very artificial environment in which a student has very little freedom.
Consider bullying. I had to deal with bullies in jr. high & high school, because there simply was no way to avoid them. But after high school, I didn't go where the bullies were. Problem solved. Yes, there were bullies in elementary school, but they weren't really capable of doing much damage yet.
And there is a flip side: teenagers are protected from the consequences of their decisions. This is another reason for bullying: the bullies get away with it. But in the adult world, violent people can be fired, jailed, etc.
And bullying is just one issue of many.
So, yes, peer influences can be a problem throughout life; however I definitely do not see the adult world as being more dangerous, if you can't figure out how survive in the teen world. Certainly my own experience does not support that idea.
See also PGs essays on high school. I don't mean that he is supporting my ideas; rather he provides a good explanation of why high school is different from "the real world". Thus, I don't see that figuring out how to survive high school really gives one much in the way of practical life skills for the long term.
This has as much to do with the parents as it does with the kids. Most of the home schooled kids I know (which is actually quite a few) are very well-balanced socially, as they've been involved in home schooling co-ops, sports, and other "after school" activities. In fact, I think many of them can deal with peer influences better than "schooled" kids, as they are more confident with themselves.
In my personal experience, we homeschoolers are as varied as "normal" kids. There were those incapable of dealing socially with anyone outside their immediate families. And there were those of us comfortable and capable of dealing with people of all ages.
Me personally, my social interaction outside sports was so varied I became much more adept at interacting with older and younger people rather than my own peer group. As a child, especially in middle and high school, I was often frustrated by the "rules" of peer groups. Dealing with people younger or older let me treat them as people - and vice versa.
Few would disagree that a teenager should learn how do deal with peer influence, but many would disagree with the idea that the artificial social environment of high school is the best place to learn, or even a good one. It is not a microcosm of the adult world.
We have a "special needs" child. One year we were not happy with the school district's plan for our child, and so we home-schooled for a year, while talking to the district about the plan for the next year. When we got something we were happy with, we went back to public school.
We educate at home (not "homeschool"--that implies schooling at home, and re-creating school at home is definitely not our goal), starting from the very beginning, all the way through high school.
We have 8 ranging from 25 down to 8, so it's still a big work in progress. ;-)
Some of our older kids have gone to (very demanding) colleges, others couldn't be bothered. Depends a lot on the person and his life goals and interests, of course.
I wasn't homeschooled at all. I went to private school through high-school (around Charlottesville, VA, in case you're in that area) and then did public university. I went to school with some home schooled students. Some were good, some had issues. Most of them had at least a few social issues, but then, I think any way you sliced my high-school population, the majority of a given section had some issues; such is the nature of being in high-school.
The point is, this doesn't really tell you anything useful. I could tell you what my gut tells me about homeschooling, but that's not going to be especially useful either. Instead, I'll share two things that I think might actually be of some use to you on this issue.
One: you're asking a community of amateurs. The people on this website are, at least taken in aggregate, a standard deviation or two above the norm at what they're good at. However, I have met very few people who're particularly smart at everything. Instead, people are usually smart about a small number of things. The most wise people are usually wise enough to know they don't know squat about the rest. Therefor, I would suggest that there will be lots of well-meaning, reasonably smart people here, I'm not sure that the people who actually know what they're talking about are going to come out over the people who don't know enough to know they don't know what they're talking about.
And what makes it worse is that studies show, if you don't know much about this, you're going to have a hard time telling the know-it-alls from the know-nothings.
Two: you're asking a self-selected group about their experiences, and as we all know, the plural of anecdote is not data. Again, a lot of people on here are smart, and on top of that, highly (self-)motivated, people. These are good qualities that I'm sure you want to give your children, but you're probably likely to get more success stories about anything with a reasonable success rate here, given the population you ask. If I ask a room full of millionaires how many people eat raisin bran and I get a number of positive responses, I can't then conclude that iron and dietary fiber have a greater-than-average incidence of financial prosperity.
I'm not suggesting that it's not worthwhile to hear what people have to say about their experiences; I'm just urging you to take what you read with a grain of salt and to seek out data about homeschooling. Try to find non-biased studies on it, compare the costs to comparable options (Montessori, local alternative private schools), and then ultimately apply your best judgment.
With the growth of homeschool, I'd be interested to know if there is any reaction/support coming from the private school industry.
The first thing that pops into my mind is 'Can't there be a hybrid?' A 10 hrs a week school or something like that. I'm not sure what exactly (if anything) would appeal to home schooling parents, but it seems likely that many of the trade-offs or difficulties would be overcome with a little bit of school.
There are several avenues already in place, availability varies by geography of course. Some anecdotes from one homeschooled through high school:
- Many homeschool families will form study groups for some of the subjects less conducive to individual study (such as music or hard sciences) and will have a knowledgeable parent or outside teacher lead a class or two a week. In grade school I took a homeschooling drawing class taught by a former art teacher turned homeschooling parent. But that was my only experience.
- My local public high school had no problems letting me on campus for part of the day to take a couple classes. I took a lab science class, and was in the music classes every year.
- Some community colleges offer a "Running Start" program for high school students, and they don't care which high school you come from. So my senior year in high school I was at the local CC part time learning German, taking Chemistry and an English class.
There are also a wide variety of "official" homeschooling programs that have popped up recently. Either the curriculum is rubber-stamped, or they bring in certified teachers. I didn't take part in any of that as it wasn't required by law, and I/we didn't see a need.
So those are my experiences. YMMV widely by geography.
As I understand it, the reasoning was three-fold. A better education than public schools, not enough money for a private education, and the desire for religious education.
We have thought about it. The private schools tend to use a home-room with many resource rooms model, and then major infrastructure (library, pool, etc). I would think the easiest hybrid models would be resource-rooms only or major infrastructure only.
I figured school and I weren't a right fit some time in high school, so I
dropped out then. Never even heard of unschooling at the time, I just
considered myself an autodidact. That was now more than two years ago, and I
still haven't started "unschooling" myself.
It was a problem when my parents threw me out soon after my 18th birthday, for
dropping out of school. I had to get a miserable job, coding PHP for about the
same amount of money my friend got stacking boxes in a warehouse. That was
nothing unexpected, it just shows how much programmers are valued in my
country.
The job made me depressed, unable to do anything. Not learn, nothing.
Now I'm working with a friend on a startup company, poised to solve all our
problems, but I wouldn't say that's going so great either.
But I don't regret anything. School wasn't a good way of learning for me, and
I will continue my education on my own, as soon as this company gets of the
ground and I have some time.
I started unschooling in high school. I went to some college, but returned to self-education after a semester. I've never looked back. Not Back To School Camp (nbtsc.org) is a great summer resource for unschoolers--a mix of workshops led by advisors and campers, as well as a social opportunity. NBTSC takes place yearly in Vermont and Oregon. You may also want to read The Teenage Liberation Handbook by Grace Llewellyn, which is an excellent reference on self-education (for the young self-educator).
Feel free to email me at my username at gmail if you want to talk to a hacker who has unschooled and who works with hundreds of unschoolers every year.
We've gone back and forth between homeschooling, private schools in Puerto Rico, and public schools in Indiana. This fall we'll be trying a new combination (a private school in Indiana).
Both school and home education have their strong points. If you have the time to do it, I recommend home education -- you'll never get your kids' childhood back, and there's no time more quality than teaching them all the good parts of the world.
You have to dance a lot harder, to make sure they have plenty of contact with people their own age. It's almost certain that there will be homeschooling groups in your new area in Virginia, so that takes care of that, depending on the vitality of the groups in question. But nowadays, in the States, it's not too hard to find social support networks for homeschoolers.
Homeschooled all the way (til I started college classes at 15), in Ashland, VA (near Richmond). Worked for me, and my brothers, but my mom was really involved and committed to it. That's an essential component. :)
My mom now writes home-school curriculum and other helpful books, and speaks at conventions and such (maybe the one you're going to). If you have any VA-specific or general Q's, I'm sure she'd be happy to answer any questions. Her site's at http://everyday-education.com/.
My parents faced the same decision, decided against it, and I'm glad. My ride through public school was a bit bumpy but overall I did OK, and made several life-long friends in the process. I was exposed to homeschoolers in college and while they were hard working and serious students, they just didn't seem to have the same academic chops as their public/private schooled peers. This was not because they were dumb, or received poor instruction from their parents; they simply struggled adapting to some of the requirements of institutional learning. Namely, they had poor time management skills and didn't function well in groups compared to their peers. These students had no exposure to public schooling outside of kindergarten.
With that said, the most critical phase of your child's education will be early childhood, namely grades K-5. A solid foundation during this period will pay significant dividends throughout their academic career. I'd consider weighing your options in terms of specialized private education if you're determined to give them the best start possible.
However, if your objective is religious and you desire to shield your children from the "secularism" in public schools, then by all means home school them.
Generalizations based on anecdotal evidence aside, I do have to agree with you on the lack of "institutional learning skills". Even with a bit of experience at public high-schools and community college, I wasn't prepared for the gaming, the time constraints, and the group participation required at the university level.
Quite often my freshman and sophomore years I'd end up pulling stupid hours because I got sidetracked on some tangent in a textbook rather than learning "what I was supposed to", or whatever was going to be on the test.
Learning for a very specific reason, and within a very specific timeframe wasn't something I was used to.
sounds like you got "distracted" learning, and had to refocus on "playing the game" -- what a shame that we have to do that to get through a so called education.
My 3 kids started taking classes at the local community colleges while in high school, especially math. This was CA and they could take the classes for high school credit or college, even UC, credit. They opted for UC credit and it put them ahead of the game. My daughter avoided a 5th year at UCLA. My son dropped out of college and eventually founded a company with a couple of friends.
I was home schooled or unschooled on and off through sixth grade, then completely unschooled after that.
My parents at one time or another had me enrolled in just about every structured education scheme you can imagine, from reputable urban public school to shitty urban public school to expensive Catholic school to quaint small-town school to rural one-room schoolhouse to formalized home-school curriculum. I found them all stifling, boring, and wasteful of my time.
Unschooling, on the other hand, was very liberating. I got to study whatever I wanted, however I wanted. I dabbled in chemistry, electronics, literature, even carpentry. Once we got our first computer when I was 13, I dove into computing and programming utterly.
It worked out wonderfully for me. I had a paying job as a programmer when I was 15, and haven't looked back.
I was always introverted, so school was not a positive socializing experience for me; in fact it was quite the opposite. Despite concerns to the contrary, I've socialized myself over time through professional and personal relationships with co-workers and friends.
The most appealing outcome of my unschooling experience is the autodidactic learning style it reinforced. This comes in very handy as a software engineer, where the ability to independently pick up a new language, tool, technology, or architecture quickly and completely is a real asset.
I am the oldest of five children. All of us were homeschooled to some extent, with the proportion of homeschooling to structured education declining from oldest to youngest. We are all fairly bright, but the difference between those of us with more homeschooling and those with less is striking. The home schoolers are more eloquent, more insightful, more responsible, more disciplined, and more politically active (although not politically homogeneous, which makes for tumultuous dinner conversation at family get-togethers).
There is no doubt in my mind that unschooling had a massively positive net impact on my life, and would encourage any parents able to make the necessary time commitment to try it as well.
To me, it goes like this: If your environment, genes, family, and children are such that your children fall in the category of "students who must attend classes class for the benefit of the other students", you should homeschool, period. If the educational system is going to hold your children back for the benefit of the other students, you should get them out. However, if that's not the case, then I would leave them in a more traditional school system.
That's arguably a pretty selfish way to evaluate things, but speaking as a K-12 homeschooled student, I think it's the best way to make the most of the options in front of you.
We homeschool our son (6) and daughter (8). We knew we were going to homeschool well before our daughter was near school age.
Reading and research is good. Carry on. :) You should read John Holt at some point.
I think homeschooling is easier the younger you start. Teens sometimes have a rough time making the transition.
Connect with other local homeschoolers. Interacting with other homeschooling families is good for kids and parents both. Helps you stay grounded and helps with the inevitable crises of confidence that happen from time to time.
You'll probably have moments where you're not sure you're doing the right thing by homeschooling, or that you're not doing a good enough job.
Specifics vary. Whoever is the main hsing parent will certainly have days where nothing goes right and everyone quarrels. Several of those in a row and you'll wonder if hsing was the right choice. Sometimes parents get disappointed that their kid isn't learning fast enough or is resistant to teaching. If you lean toward unschooling, you'll probably wonder if that's really "enough" to equip your kids for college/adulthood. You may worry about inadequate socialization. Any area where your kid seems to be lagging behind his peers will probably cause you to question yourself.
Once you start homeschooling, it's all on you. It's a lot of responsibility. You'll worry, at least some.
From what I've seen, it's common for new homeschoolers to have a big crisis of confidence a few months in, for one reason or another. Some decide it's not for them at that point.
Lesser moments of anxiety occur more often. For some folks, nearly continuously. :) We worry about some thing or other every few months. Sometimes we make some changes to try to address it, sometimes we decide it's no big deal or at least nothing that needs immediate fixing.
My education was at home, and once I hit high-school age it was primarily self-directed. I feel that this worked very well for me and my particular learning style.
I did Running Start -- Washington college dual enrollment programm -- after 10th grade in high school. So I only got two years of high school in my life.
we've lived in northern virginia and montgomery county maryland and homeschooled our kids (now 3,6,8) from day 1 and continue to do so. go for it! it's not nearly as hard as people make it out to be and you can go with your children's interests and teach them how to love learning. really, can you possibly fail worse than the public system?
