Apart from the "good faith" thing, which I've mentioned repeatedly on this thread and others, all you've done here is expanded the "vulnerability" clause.
Absolutely. Thing is that those two "buts" greatly expand the scenarios of information sharing relative to what you wrote. If you would have written your comment like this:
"""
CISPA allows for the sharing of information that the company doing the sharing can "in good faith" believe to be "cyber threat intelligence", which is defined as:
(i) Information pertaining to a vulnerability
(ii) Information pertaining to a threat to the integrity, confidentiality, or availability of a system or network or any info stored or transiting one
(iii) Information pertaining to efforts to deny access
(iv) Information pertaining to efforts to gain unauthorized access (with the exception that violations of consumer terms of service are not covered by CISPA)
So indeed your scenario of sharing health records may be a valid concern."""
