I've never been invited anywhere, hung out with anyone, celebrated someones birthday, had a meal with someone except my roommate, or just done something fun with another person.
Oh dear, sorry to hear that. I'd invite you out but I'm on the West Coast.
Well, what you are going to have to do is start inviting other people out. When you're talking to an acquaintance that you find interesting, propose a dinner date or some other relevant activity (eg if they say they're curious about a movie or some upcoming sports game that you might also enjoy, propose going together). If you're not sure what a person is interested in, or don't know much about them, ask - when's their birthday, what do they think of that upcoming movie you're intersted by, what type of movies,/music/activities they like in general. Don't interrogate them, obviously - limit the number of guestions and give them time to answer.
You can also be frank about your own difficulties; mentioning Asperger's may sound like a medical problem, but it's perfectly OK to say 'I'm bad at finding cool places to go' or 'I'm bored hanging around the campus all the time, do you know of anything cool going on next weekend?' without making people think of the word 'syndrome.' And make plenty of time for listening to others (which I had to learn as a skill), because often they'll tell you about similar challenges they face. You don't need to have solutions for those challenges; eg if your acquaintance also mentions that s/he doesn't know anywhere cool to go, you could say 'let's just check out some place at random next weekend then.' It's OK to be shy, and to say that you're shy. If you're in a conversation and can't thinkof what to say, it's fine to say you don't know what to say. Social awkwardness is normal enough that nobody's going to hold it against you for admitting to it from time to time.
Think of friendships as a bit like gardening - you plant some seeds (make acquaintances) and you need to water them (regular social contact, pleasantries, small talk), but it takes a while for them to break ground and start growing up out of the earth, and staring at them won't make that happen any faster. So for the time being, just keep being good to your existing acquaintances, and display your interest in getting to know them better. Sooner or later you're bound to discover mutual interests, and once you have something to talk about in depth it's easy for a relationship to grow from there.
Oh dear, sorry to hear that. I'd invite you out but I'm on the West Coast.
Well, what you are going to have to do is start inviting other people out. When you're talking to an acquaintance that you find interesting, propose a dinner date or some other relevant activity (eg if they say they're curious about a movie or some upcoming sports game that you might also enjoy, propose going together). If you're not sure what a person is interested in, or don't know much about them, ask - when's their birthday, what do they think of that upcoming movie you're intersted by, what type of movies,/music/activities they like in general. Don't interrogate them, obviously - limit the number of guestions and give them time to answer.
You can also be frank about your own difficulties; mentioning Asperger's may sound like a medical problem, but it's perfectly OK to say 'I'm bad at finding cool places to go' or 'I'm bored hanging around the campus all the time, do you know of anything cool going on next weekend?' without making people think of the word 'syndrome.' And make plenty of time for listening to others (which I had to learn as a skill), because often they'll tell you about similar challenges they face. You don't need to have solutions for those challenges; eg if your acquaintance also mentions that s/he doesn't know anywhere cool to go, you could say 'let's just check out some place at random next weekend then.' It's OK to be shy, and to say that you're shy. If you're in a conversation and can't thinkof what to say, it's fine to say you don't know what to say. Social awkwardness is normal enough that nobody's going to hold it against you for admitting to it from time to time.
Think of friendships as a bit like gardening - you plant some seeds (make acquaintances) and you need to water them (regular social contact, pleasantries, small talk), but it takes a while for them to break ground and start growing up out of the earth, and staring at them won't make that happen any faster. So for the time being, just keep being good to your existing acquaintances, and display your interest in getting to know them better. Sooner or later you're bound to discover mutual interests, and once you have something to talk about in depth it's easy for a relationship to grow from there.