I'd like to understand more about why you think it's a 'nightmare'. I set up a merchant account with St George in 2009 for my startup at the time and the whole process was fairly straightforward and hassle free. The fees were about $50/month + 0.8% of each transaction.
"Your business model isn't a fish-and-chip shop, please go away".
"You don't own a home we can seize, please go away".
"You want to bill and bank in USD/EUR/not-AUD? Please go away unless you are already successful".
"Congratulations on being approved! The next step is to apply all over again to a completely different service. We don't actually take the payments ourselves".
It depends on your business model. Mine wasn't a straightforward buy-a-thing-sell-a-thing model and this makes small business banking heads kersplode with great ferocity, it would seem.
"What is it you do again?"
"{{explanatory_statement}}"
"... so, um, what products are you going to sell?"
Annnnnd because my turnover is less than $ferrari, I'm always flicked to a small business banker. If I needed a loan for a commercial deep fryer I'd be talking to the right person.
