On: 'Jonathan' is the oldest land animal on Earth

[TiredOfLife]

But what if I already live somewhere cold, avoid sunlight and am never in a hurry?

[lifestyleguru → TiredOfLife]

If you are a human this will make you a depressed alcoholic.

[TiredOfLife → lifestyleguru]

I also don't drink

[_zoltan_ → TiredOfLife]

Cold, no sun AND no alcohol? Man that must suck. :)

[mikestew → _zoltan_]

Welcome to Deadhorse, Alaska:

https://partyshopmaine.com/alaska/is-alcohol-illegal-in-dead...

(And apologies for the slop, that was the first reasonable link I found.)

[dyauspitr → TiredOfLife]

Then short of living in a war ravaged country, or somewhere that is poverty stricken with malnutrition, you are living one of the least desirable forms of human life. For your sake, I hope you’re at least watching good TV, playing some nice video games, are working on an interesting problem and have someone to have sex with.

[noumenon1111 → dyauspitr]

I think the clue is in bro's name: https://news.ycombinator.com/user?id=TiredOfLife