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Deep in the bowels of Mt. Sinai, a clandestine IDF bunker guards a terrible secret: a giant useEffect() loop that controls all the murderbots, individually, by their hardcoded names. They didn't have the budget to research memoization yet, so it runs a bit slow, but it was fine on powerful enough hardware.

The ballistics were all calculated in WebGL, leading to a global GPU shortage the last few years. And sometimes they'd get the viewport size wrong, which is why there was collateral damage :(

Having learned their lesson, Israel's next AI project will stick with the tried and true and be written entirely in CSS instead.




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