I received some advice early in my career, from a staff engineer, along the lines of "Don't worry about remembering that which you've previously been tested on." It has stuck with me, and made me feel a lot better about the way I tackle my work as a software engineer; deliberately, with research, and consideration.
Having Autism, I get quite overwhelmed when I'm talking with someone I don't know, especially if they're judging or evaluating me. It's really affecting my progress in interviews, and while I'm getting to the first stages, I'm stumbling somewhere.
When I join the call, my wall is up and I'm masking hard; it's unavoidable, but I remain somewhat-authentic. I try my best to be charming, and for the most part, I think I'm quite successful, with most of my feedback being "great guy, asked good questions"
However, when it comes to being technical and self-promotion, I'm so bad that I may as well be a carpenter who had decided on a late-in-life career change, knowing nothing about tech. Even if I write down my achievements, I feel gross about fluffing it up, instead focusing on outcomes and facts. I have awards, accolades, and recommendations from my peers, but for some reason I can't land a job, or even get close.
Any advice?
I am not sure anyone is rejecting you based on awkwardness or autism masking. My advice is not to worry about this or think about it. Thinking about things you can’t control or have difficulty controlling will make you anxious.
A hiring manager or peer interviewer will try to discern two main things (speaking as both a candidate and someone who has interviewed others to be hired):
1) is this person technically capable of performing the work?
2) how will this person be as a co-worker or employee?
For (1), just focus on being able to tell the highlights of your technical accomplishments. What you did, why it was important to the org or project, what you learned etc.
For (2), have stories of being a good person to work with. For example, someone gave me a critique and this is how I handled it. Or when we had a really challenging situation, this is what I did. No one is looking for a hero (being a hero isn’t desirable in all situations or roles). But people want to know that the person they’re hiring is someone who will listen to them, provide knowledgeable suggestions, and be flexible to pivoting when the situation needs it. Most of all, they’re looking for someone who can help get things done.
What levels are you aiming for? I am guessing junior or mid?