But you see, you still got that college degree that led you into bigger things in life, you overcame. At 18, I genuinely thought I shall overcome too, but it did not happen, and now I am at where I am at.
I am glad you did though, and I wish you the best.
The point is that I continued fighting for that degree regardless of how many failures I had in the past. I genuinely believe that if you continued, even now, to learn these subjects (even without formal education) you can do great things.
I challenge you to three months of relentless self education. Instead of watching YouTube or browsing socials in your spare time but some very basic projects on your plate then move from there to larger ones.
After this I learned Python and some data science stuffs, got into Flask (which allows for website backends via REST) and MongoDB (database).
If you genuinely apply yourself to learn this kind of stuff and feel confident in you capabilities, I know you can apply it in a way that at the very least will help you feel a bit more fulfilled in your skillset.
I am glad you did though, and I wish you the best.