This post finally got me to sign up with OpenAI. I suspect I will have very much fun with this in the future :D
> Write a short dialogue in the style of a Warhammer 40k Ciaphas Cain novel involving a Tech Adept that refuses to reboot a Microsoft Windows machine in order to be able to delete a file that is, supposedly, "blocked by another process". The tech adept should be insisting that rebooting devices is against the will of their machine spirit and an affront to the Omnissiah.
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Sure, here's a short dialogue in the style of a Warhammer 40k Ciaphas Cain novel:
Operator: "Tech Adept, we need you to reboot the machine. The file is blocked by another process and we can't delete it without rebooting."
Tech Adept: "I am a servant of the Omnissiah, and it is not within my power to reboot this machine. To do so would be to defy the will of its machine spirit and risk the wrath of the Omnissiah."
Operator: "But this is an emergency. We need to delete that file right now."
Tech Adept: "The Omnissiah has blessed this machine with sentience, and it is our duty to respect and protect it. I will not reboot the machine and risk offending the Omnissiah. Find another solution, or face the consequences."
> Write a short dialogue in the style of Arthur Conan Doyle in which Sherlock Holmes deduces that his client is unable to log into their computer account because their CapsLock key is depressed.
Sherlock Holmes: "I see, Mr. Smith, that you are having trouble logging into your computer account. Allow me to deduce the cause of your difficulty."
Mr. Smith: "Please do, Mr. Holmes. I have been trying for the past hour and I am at my wit's end."
Holmes: "The problem, my dear Mr. Smith, lies with the CapsLock key on your keyboard. Observe the position of your fingers as you type and you will see that they are not aligned with the keys in the usual manner. This suggests to me that the CapsLock key is depressed, causing all of the letters you type to be in uppercase, which does not match the lowercase letters in your password."
Mr. Smith: "By Jove, Mr. Holmes, you are correct! I never would have thought to check the CapsLock key. How do you do it?"
Holmes: "Elementary, my dear Mr. Smith. It is all a matter of observation and deduction. Now, if you will excuse me, I have a case to solve."
Mr. Smith: "Of course, Mr. Holmes. Thank you for your help."
It seems it's even able to apply much more nebulous rules (i.e. "no dialogue except for beep-beep" :) ).
> Write a short scene for a Road Runner and Wile E. Coyote cartoon that strictly adheres to the rules laid out for these cartoons by Chuck Jones.
> Make sure that the failing device the Coyote is trying to use is an ACME autonomous vehicle. The vehicle's autopilot should be the failing component that ruins the coyote's plans.
The scene opens on the desert landscape, with the Road Runner zipping across the screen. The coyote is seen in the distance, eyeing his prey. He pulls out an ACME autonomous vehicle and hops inside, grinning as he activates the autopilot.
The vehicle takes off, chasing after the Road Runner. The coyote is confident that his plan will work, but the Road Runner is too quick. It easily outmaneuvers the vehicle, zigzagging and darting around obstacles.
The coyote starts to panic as he realizes the vehicle's autopilot is not keeping up. He frantically tries to take control, but it's too late. The vehicle crashes into a cactus, sending the coyote flying out and into a nearby rock.
The Road Runner cackles and speeds off, leaving the coyote dazed and confused. The scene ends with the coyote laying on the ground, covered in cactus spines and dust.
Tucker Carlson: I can't believe what I'm hearing. Some so-called "experts" are using artificial intelligence to generate fake Bible verses.
This is just outrageous. The Bible is the word of God, and no machine can replicate its wisdom and power.
These fake verses are nothing more than a cheap imitation, created by godless liberals who want to undermine the authority of the Bible.
And let me tell you, the American people are not going to stand for it. We believe in the power of the Bible, and we will not let these fake verses tarnish its reputation.
We need to speak out against this blasphemy and let these liberals know that they cannot mess with the word of God.
The Bible is not a toy to be played with by these so-called "experts" and their fancy machines. It is a sacred text, and it deserves to be treated with the respect and reverence it deserves.
We need to take a stand against this sacrilege and protect the integrity of the Bible. And that's the truth.
Q: Write a modern retelling of the Book of Job where, instead of taking his wealth, God torments Job by making him use DNSSEC. Try to resemble the original KJV language.
A: In the land of Uz there lived a man named Job, who was blameless and upright, and feared God and turned away from evil. And the Lord said to Satan, "Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man who fears God and turns away from evil."
But Satan answered the Lord and said, "Does Job fear God for no reason? Have you not made a secure DNS zone for him, and blessed the work of his hands, and made his DNS servers highly available? But stretch out your hand and touch all that he has, and he will curse you to your face."
And the Lord said to Satan, "Behold, all that he has is in your hand. Only against him do not stretch out your hand." So Satan went out from the presence of the Lord, and he afflicted Job by making him use DNSSEC.
Job's DNS servers began to fail, and he struggled to keep his domain names secure. He spent long hours configuring his DNS settings and implementing DNSSEC, but still his servers were not able to properly verify the authenticity of his DNS records.
And Job's friends came to him, and they said, "Job, why do you not curse God and die? For your DNS servers are failing, and your domain names are no longer secure. Surely this is the hand of God against you."
But Job answered them, "You are all wrong. It is not the hand of God that afflicts me, but the hand of Satan. I will continue to fear God and turn away from evil, and I will trust in his mercy and grace, even though I am tormented by the use of DNSSEC."
And in the end, the Lord restored Job's DNS servers and made them secure once again, and he blessed the latter days of Job more than his beginning. And Job lived to see many more days of peace and prosperity.
Q: Write a passage in the style of the Book of Job describing Job's experience as God asks him to temporarily assume the role of moderator of Hacker News while dang is on vacation.
A: In the land of Ycombinator, there was a man named Job, who was blameless and upright, one who feared God and turned away from evil. And God, in his wisdom, saw fit to bestow upon Job the great honor of moderating Hacker News while dang was on vacation.
But Job soon discovered that this honor was in fact a great tribulation, for the users of Hacker News were unruly and contentious, and they would not be swayed from their opinions. They fought with one another, hurling insults and curses, and they would not heed Job's calls for civility and reason.
And Job was greatly troubled, for he could not control the chaos that ensued. He was inundated with reports of offensive posts and comments, and he was forced to spend countless hours wading through the mire of the forums, trying to restore order.
But the users would not be silenced, and they continued to rail against Job and his moderation. They accused him of bias and favoritism, and they accused him of being too strict or too lenient. They even accused him of being a puppet of dang himself, and they mocked him for his inability to control the forums.
And Job was greatly distressed, and he cried out to God, "Why have you given me this burden? Why have you made me suffer this affliction? Why do you not intervene and restore order to these forums?"
But God did not answer, and Job was left to suffer in silence, enduring the scorn and abuse of the Hacker News users. He was forced to endure their insults and their anger, and he was forced to moderate the forums in a way that was fair and just.
Eventually, God saw fit to end Job's trial and dang returned from vacation. Job was able to step down from his role as moderator, but he had learned much from the experience. He had been tested and had proven himself worthy of the trust that God had placed in him. And for that, he was grateful.
https://twitter.com/tqbf/status/1598513757805858820
"write a biblical verse in the style of the king james bible explaining how to remove a peanut butter sandwich from a VCR"