It's really not a different question. Either way if my other son also had Down Syndrome, I would accept him and love him for who is. That's our job as parents, right? BTW, our odds of having our first son with Down Syndrome and autism were about 1 in a million (maybe higher). Our odds of having a second child with Down Syndrome were 1 in 100. That didn't stop us.
I don't mind answering questions about our experience. Hopefully this line of questions isn't trying to prove a point.
As a parent, it is terribly hard to imagine your child not being there. I suppose what I'm curious about is, knowing what it's like to raise a child with Down Syndrome and what it's like to raise a child without, if you hadn't had either child yet, or perhaps were to have a third child, would you have a preference, and if so how strong of a preference?
Every child is different and has unique challenges. All parents here can attest to that. Regardless of disabilities, there are emotional issues, sub-culture issues, etc.
The biggest challenge is the lack of community support. I live in the US, and disability services are the first thing cut when ever there is a budget cut. Most workers who choose to work in the support industry make little over minimum wage, for their entire careers. That means high turnover. That leaves a lot of care to the parents and extended family. So financially there are extra costs (e.g. paying a sitter, for an adult child), equipment, and planning for support after you are gone.
There is emotional stress, but you can probably imagine that. One of my peeves is how casually people throw around the R-word. Then act innocent that they didn't mean to be insulting.
So yes there are challenges. I wouldn't want my son to be anyone else though.
I'm in my 50s, my kids are in their 20s. I'm not looking to have anymore kids. :)
