Ask HN: How do you set a goal and stay focused?

[ipiz0618]

How to stay focused is a recurring topic on HN. But my problem is more of how to set goals.

While I don't expect a definite answer that fits everyone, I'm interested in how others set their goals and believing in them without being distracted / giving up midway.

Goals can be side projects, startup ideas, hobbies etc. I tend to be tempted to try many different sorts of things at the same time outside work, and ultimately achieve very little.

[undergrowth54]

Start with Why.

If you have some idea for a goal, you should write down the reason you want it.

Frameworks that are useful for product management and communication are useful for personal-product management and communication-to-yourself:

- https://www.intercom.com/resources/books/intercom-jobs-to-be...

- https://www.cnvc.org/training/resource/needs-inventory

It is also often helpful to write down your worries and fears. Putting worries into words gives you power over them and helps you realize that you can build something overcome them. Fear-setting is one of the psychological benefits of Test Driven Development.

Note that holding thoughts about your motivations and worries in your working memory can be highly psychologically uncomfortable. Your impulse in response to this discomfort might be to get on reddit. For this reason, you might want to do this thinking by taking a paper notebook to the park or by talking with a friend you trust.

The result of this will be that when you re-examine your goal, you can see if you still think it aligns with your "why".

[ipiz0618 → undergrowth54]

Writing down worries and fears is new to me. Will definitely try that out. Thanks!

[stevewodil]

Your goal could be to lose weight. That's great but it's not actionable. An actionable goal is "go to the gym for 30 min today before lunch to run on the treadmill." So set that easy and actionable goal and go do it.

What works for me is focusing on at most two or three things at a time. Anything more than that becomes too difficult to keep up. Right now for me those are fitness, working on my startup idea, and reading.

As an example, for fitness I use the two day rule. If I didn't workout yesterday I have to work out today. If I worked out today then I can choose to workout tomorrow, or not. I never go two days in a row without working out. I also workout first thing in the morning so that it's not hanging over my head all day.

It's mostly about scheduling things that you want to do into your day and actually doing them. Give yourself days off if you need them, and plan things out ahead of time.

[oumua_don17 → stevewodil]

This is excellent advise and goes into the `Goals vs Systems` territory. A good sensible and enjoyable read for the same would be Chapter 5 'Goals vs Systems` from [1].

From personal experience, opting for the systems approach has helped me:

- Focus on multiple activities (max 4) with time bucketing and ensuring the time bucket has a task that can be done, like the actionable gym example above

- You are not worried about reaching the goal, instead you consistently put in the effort and don't feel the void when and if any goal is completed

- Systems help a ton in tackling complex or difficult subjects.

YMMV and mind you, earlier I was goal focussed and IMHO, got lesser done.

[1] https://www.amazon.com/How-Fail-Almost-Everything-Still-eboo...

edit: added the ref [1]

[lxdesk]

1. Do not set a goal that involves conquering the world, saving the world, or attaining personal glory. These goals have internal contradictions that will lead you away from doing good work.

2. Find a theme and follow the theme to set the goal. This can come from your personal philosophy and inclinations, from something you observe in nature, or by remixing an existing idea.

3. To help find the theme, keep a diary and try to build up a personal library of references. (Do not try to hoard data. Do tight curation.)

[rayajason → lxdesk]

> 1. Do not set a goal that involves conquering the world, saving the world, or attaining personal glory. These goals have internal contradictions that will lead you away from doing good work.

Can you maybe elaborate on this a bit more? Just curious.

[TrinaryWorksToo]

As intelligent beings, we have two types of goals: Terminal Values/goals, which are things that we want to achieve for intrinsic purposes, and Instrumental values/goals, which are the signposts we use as we navigate towards our big goal. https://wiki.lesswrong.com/wiki/Terminal_value

Figuring out which type your goal is will help you immensely. If it is an instrumental goal, then figuring out how it aligns with your terminal goal will give you the motivation to do it at any cost.

If it's a terminal goal, your brain will drive you to get there at any cost, automatically. You may feel overwhelmed, especially since terminal goals can be abstract, so you might try using other people's instrumental goals, and brainstorming your own, and seeing how they fit into your strategy towards achieving your terminal goals. It's particularly helpful if someone has already achieved an instrumental goal, as they can share that information with you so you don't have to figure it out as you piece your path towards your terminal goals.

[ismail → TrinaryWorksToo]

I am not familiar with this terminology but it sound awfully like “means” and “ends” which I believe goes all the way back to Aristotle.

[TrinaryWorksToo → ismail]

Yeah, they're probably the same concept!

[k00b]

Try different goals until you find a goal you don't want to stop working on.

Goal setting/discovery is a skill. You need to work on it like everything else.

The reasoning will sound tautological but it's true: If your problem is finding a goal you'll stick to, your goal should be to look for a goal you'll stick to.

[chrisbennet]

I don't have drive/willpower/dedication whatever. I'm somewhat lazy. I am honest with myself so I know not to set unrealistic goals that would require studying or applying myself to a task. I do reach my goals though.

How?

I come up with a project that teaches me what I need to know. It "pulls me in" and makes learning the stuff I need to know fun. I call it "pull" vs "push". Another way to think of it is: Would you rather push yourself to hit the books to learn French or live in France for a few months and pick it up? (You'd have to study for both but the 2nd way would be more fun and effective.)

[softwaredoug]

I don’t think anything real gets done without making a commitment others need to depend on. Hence with some downside consequences for you! But such consequences can be calibrated...

A common example is committing to speak at a meetup on my side project. It gives me a deadline to focus and get organized around, but frankly is pretty mistake friendly.

Another strategy is collaborating with a potential client on an idea. It’s like having a customer to go to market with. And not following through is not good for me (though still understood as a new/trial idea with the customer)

[davidajackson]

One thing you can do to push yourself a bit is give your friends/family a heads up that you're building something. That can give you some extra motivation to keep going and not give up.

[ipiz0618 → davidajackson]

Agreed that the "pressure" from ones that actually care about what you do is a major driver.

[pryelluw]

Do you really achieve very little? Or do you simply achieve less than you wanted?

Two very different things.

Maybe its a matter of setting lower expectations (smaller goals). You can add smaller goals once one is completed. After all, a centipede does not move all of its legs at once.

[s_r_n]

Something that's helped me recently is trying out giving up on all my goals one at a time. There was one goal that I really started to miss working on once I gave it up, and that's how I knew I wanted to keep working on that goal. This exercise helped me establish my priorities.

[togusa2017]

Two things that helped me - Setting realistic goal. Implying Decide 5 things and then trimming them to top 3. Do everyday a little of each 3. - Deadlift. I know there is no co-relation but it helps me keep a clear mind and get more focused on other aspect of life and goals.

[karmakaze]

Rectntly I replied to what's your quarantine project a domain name I registered for when I get around to playing with it. That prompted me to follow through enough to make a prototype. Now I'm adding some sort of wiki-like editing expanding on the original goal.

[pruthvishetty]

This was useful - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LfdJS_8M8bY

[hoorayimhelping]

By and large, most people set unrealistic goals, or set goals that are too large to accomplish without setting smaller goals. They forget the psychological aspects of setting and reaching goals and set goals that are unattainable, then feel bad about themselves for not achieving the impossible goal they've set for themselves.

Most people want to lose weight and look sexy. So they set a goal of losing weight and looking sexy and leave it at that. But "lose weight and look sexy" isn't a very achievable goal - how do you know when you've lost enough weight and look sexy enough? Setting a goal of "losing 10 pounds in 2 months" is much more achievable and measurable. It accomplishes the goal of losing weight and looking sexier, and it's measurable.

Most importantly it's realistic. Most people actually want to lose 40 pounds, but it's too big of a task to take on reasonably. Instead of losing all 40 pounds, prove to yourself that you can lose 10 pounds. Figure out how to do it at a smaller scale and gain the confidence in yourself to meet your goals.

But it's still too big for most people. It needs to be broken down into 8 sub goals of: Lose 2 pounds of weight this week. How do you do that? eat 200 calories of food less per day. Exercise with weights 3 times a week. Weigh yourself at the same time every morning and track the measurements week over week.

The first week that you lose 2 pounds feels pretty okay. The second week feels better. The third week starts to feel like you're on to something, and by week four, you've realized that you have a system to meet your goals and all you need to do is follow it.

So the main takeaway is: make your goals more achievable, and design them in a way that attaining them gives you confidence and that confidence compounds as you do more. Then the goal becomes a self sustaining reaction.

tldr: start much smaller.

[ipiz0618 → hoorayimhelping]

This is a practical method, but every now and then I sit down and review my own goals, and find they have changed after I achieved the first few smaller goals. I wonder if this is common at all.

[andrefuchs]

There is nothing wrong with trying out many things. Do you have fun doing it? Maybe you just need to adjust your point of view.

Try all the things, collect knowledge and see what sticks.