Ask HN: How to politely quit my job?

[soapdog]

I humbly request the wisdom of fellow HNers,

Folks, I currently work on a very small company with a really great boss (who's a family friend). This company is quite small, we're only 4 persons including my boss and his wife. I am tasked with a really boring (maybe nightmarish) job where I am the single programmer/maintainer of a lovecraftnian designed online app, this jobs is slowly driving me crazy because I LIKE to focus on quality and the programmers before me focused on fast, so I've inherited a codebase with no docs, a scm with not a single commit comment and a mysql db with 10k tables. In summary, the ambient is great, people are great, job is not.

Now, I've received and accepted my dream job proposal working for a previous contractor on projects I really enjoy but I don't quite know how to bring these news to my current boss. How to approach and tell him that I am leaving in some days. He is a great guy and his family and mine goes way back. I want to talk as soon as possible because I want to help to find a decent replacement and train the guy a little on how to navigate that stuff. So, anyone here ever faced similar situation? WWHND (What Would HNers Do)

Cheers

[kjksf]

It's easy:

You: Boss, we need to talk.

Boss: Ok, let's talk.

You: I decided to leave ${CompanyName}.

Boss: Ok, is there anything we can do to make you stay?

You: No, I've made my decision. How long do you want me to stay to transfer my responsibilities?

Narrator's note: the standard is 2 weeks.

Other things: they might ask you why you're leaving. It's not the time to provide them with a list of complaints (especially if you haven't raised them in the past). You can be vague but truthful: the other opportunity looks like a better fit for you.

That is essentially the script I followed when leaving my past jobs. All my bosses were professional about it and understanding.

[Skywing]

I'm preparing to put in my 2 weeks notice this upcoming week, too. I'm expecting a job offer that will require me to move out to LA, from TX, on Monday. My current job is similar to yours, minus the family friend aspect.

I am one of 2 developers at the 7 person company. The company is full of enjoyable people, for the most part. The job itself is one that I've wanted to quit for the past year and a half. Perhaps worse in my scenario is that when I leave, they're going to be pretty much left floating dead in the waters until they find another developer. And, even when they do find a replacement, it'll take a few months for that person to get up to speed. I've been there a year and a half and I'm not even 100% knowledgeable about everything there. So, I'm a little nervous about when I put in my 2 weeks notice.

To answer your questions, though - I'm just going to do it. I'm the kind of person that usually stresses out a ton, and would probably be closing to passing out due to stress within the moment prior to putting in my 2 weeks. It's all going to be fine, though. It's not up to my boss, it's up to me. It's my future. So, with that in mind, I'm just going to notify him as soon as possible and that'll be that. I'm going to be polite and thankful for the job, since it has been very accommodating. (they let me finish up school part time while working)

In your case, I'd just be extra friendly. If he's a family friend, then he will understand.

Good luck.

[symmet]

I just went through something very similar. I had been working with a smaller company all through school and for a while after I graduated. The people I worked for were family friends and just great to have as employers. Then, I had the opportunity to join another company that I felt would allow me to do more of what I enjoy and had more room for me to grow, so I went for it. It was quite difficult telling my boss that I was leaving, no doubt about it. He offered everything he could to get me to stay, but in the end I knew that it was time for me to move on to something new.

That being said, here's a few tips that I think could help you.

1. Remember that this is business. That doesn't mean forgetting about the people involved, just that the most important thing in this situation is your career.

2. Do as much as you can to help the transition. The new company that I went to work for wanted me to start asap, but I was willing to give my previous employer 2 full weeks of my time since I did value the relationship and wanted to leave on the best terms possible.

3. Just be honest. While they may not want you to go, they should understand that this is what you need to do.

Good luck! Hope it all goes well.

[Mz]

I would try to be polite and as emotionally neutral as possible. People don't always react the way we think they will but, at the same time, if you broadcast your negative expectations too much, some people will react to that even if they would otherwise not have been all reactionary. There is a scene in "While you were sleeping" where the character played by Bill Pullman finally tells his dad that he doesn't want to inherit/takeover the family business. He has been avoiding it for years, while pursuing his real dream on the side. His dad is like "If you had told me sooner, I could have sold it to your uncle". It's very, very anticlimactic, involving none of the emotionalism or drama that Bill Pullman's character feared.

Good luck with this.

[jmeyers]

I just went through this process with my last employer 3 weeks ago. I just finished week one at the new employer and it is great. Here is what I did.

Gave 2 weeks notice, I told my boss this opportunity was too good to pass up. It was something I really wanted to do.

Offered to do whatever was needed over the next two weeks to help with the transition. (Mostly documentation for the new guy and closing outstanding projects.)

Recommended that they expand a current contract they have with a service provider to help fill some of my roles while they look for a new employee.

I kept the exit interview and discussions with other employees professional and did not complain about the problems of the current job. Really no reason at this point to make a big stink on the way out, I don't like to burn brides un-necessarily.

I hope this helps.

Good luck with the new job!

[RobGR]

A few disconnected thoughts:

* They own the business, not you. If you owned a part then you would be able to make decisions like spending resources on improving the codebase. In the end, it is up to them to run it, not you.

* Businesses come and go, relationships stay. If you think the guy is a good boss stay in touch; even if your notice causes a lot of bad emotions and someone throws a drama fit, just treat it like a temporary thing and it will be -- call them back in two months to see how things are going and they won't even mention it.

* Don't believe that you owe them any sort of extended stay. You can help their new hire transition via email support from your new place. If you agree to stay longer than 2 weeks, they are likely to delay the new hire by that much.

[nl]

One thing I've found useful to do is to offer to help them find a replacement. This might means asking your friends, but also helping them with interviews (up to a point anyway...)

[soapdog]

Folks,

This is the OP. Thanks for all the kind words and advise. Yesterday, I talked with my boss and it went surprisingly well (maybe I was pessimist), he understood why I was leaving and I will stay there for two weeks helping the transition.

Again HN community shows how great it is.

Thanks folks!

[known]

Did your boss offer stock options?