> I've realized that there aren't too many secrets to a beautiful life; it's just choosing the path that's too damn hard.
Okay, if you look at "the path", it's going to be tough. 90% of the time you want to be looking at one of two things. Either:
1. What you want as your end outcome, or,
2. What the next step is
That's it. Thinking "Oh man I'm going to have to go exercise for six months to get my weight and energy where I want..." - too much, that's too much for anyone. So think instead: What's my end goal? I want to be fit, long lived, with lots of energy. Okay. What's the next step? Go out for a 15 minute walk while listening to something pleasant. Then celebrate that.
Don't focus on "the path" - the stuff that needs to be done. It's too much. Focus on what you want, and then ask what's the next action? It's taking a 15 minute walk. You can take a 15 minute walk. No problem.
> You know what scares me the most? That I might not be smart enough/hard-working enough to actually make it work.
Yeah, that's classical deterministic thinking right there. The ability to "actually make it work" doesn't come from being "smart enough/hard-working enough" - making it work isn't an inborn inability, it comes from regular, incremental training. Definitely check out Waitzkin's Art of Learning. It'll do wonders for you. It's a light, easy, pleasant read too.
> I actually know that in all probability I don't have a future. Unlike, almost all of my peers I really can't have a linear life, and that is shit scary.
Do your best to catch yourself saying stuff like that, and then cut down on how much you say it. There's nothing magical about having a functional life. You figure out what you want in the long term (this takes some thinking on, and it's time well spent - it's actually pretty enjoyable to think about). Then you ask, "What's the next action?" 15 minute walk, go to the grocery store and buy oatmeal/tuna/rice/fruit, clean all your clothes and throw out the junk in your room, just reduce your email inbox a little bit from 700 down to 600 by deleting a few useless things (recently I got my inbox from 700 emails down to 3 emails over the course of two weeks, just one step at a time on it...). It's always, "What's the end goal? Okay. What's the next small step?"
There's no probability here, you're not rolling dice. If you think about what you want and take gradual steps to get there, you're almost certain to get there. If you introduce good foods to your diet while gradually quitting bad foods, your energy levels will improve. That's almost a certainty. That's how life works. You can do it. Celebrate the small wins, a successful life is a series of stringing small wins together, which eventually compound into bigger wins. In the end, it's not rocket surgery, and should be possible to anyone. You can do it.
>>>Don't focus on "the path" - the stuff that needs to be done. It's too much. Focus on what you want, and then ask what's the next action? It's taking a 15 minute walk. You can take a 15 minute walk. No problem.<<<
That's my problem right there.
Seriously, I hadn't been able to figure this bit of it out, and I've never thought of it that way. As I have been taught to believe that those who are afraid of the big picture are weak in some way.
Thank you.
I really can't tell you how I feel right now. It's as if someone has told shown me the hint of a new beginning.
I was about to say, I just hope I remember this, but now I realize that I can remember it by writing it down and reminding myself of the possibilities that exist whenever I am down. I don't have to worry about the end. It's too far away. I don't have to worry for today, because it is now and if I hinder it shall be the past. I have a bad past, but I can forget it by one little step at a time.
You are right.It's all about one step at a time.
>>>Yeah, that's classical deterministic thinking right there. The ability to "actually make it work" doesn't come from being "smart enough/hard-working enough" - making it work isn't an inborn inability, it comes from regular, incremental training. Definitely check out Waitzkin's Art of Learning. It'll do wonders for you. It's a light, easy, pleasant read too.<<<
A lot of it derives from the fact that since I was a kid I was told that I was "gifted", and all that crap. After a few events in my life that spiraled me down into that suffocating abyss that exists in our minds. I started flunking stuff. I flunked maths and other exams, and somehow I became convinced that I couldn't figure out a way out of my problems, because I wasn't smart enough to do so. So it became this cycle of self hatred that ate me away.
By the way, I'll read it when I'll be able to buy it/find it. I couldn't find it on any of the torrent networks. So, in a day or two I'll go to one of those British Council Libraries and stage a systematic invasion.
Thank you for everything.
Oh and can I bug you through email every now and then?
Okay, if you look at "the path", it's going to be tough. 90% of the time you want to be looking at one of two things. Either:
1. What you want as your end outcome, or,
2. What the next step is
That's it. Thinking "Oh man I'm going to have to go exercise for six months to get my weight and energy where I want..." - too much, that's too much for anyone. So think instead: What's my end goal? I want to be fit, long lived, with lots of energy. Okay. What's the next step? Go out for a 15 minute walk while listening to something pleasant. Then celebrate that.
Don't focus on "the path" - the stuff that needs to be done. It's too much. Focus on what you want, and then ask what's the next action? It's taking a 15 minute walk. You can take a 15 minute walk. No problem.
> You know what scares me the most? That I might not be smart enough/hard-working enough to actually make it work.
Yeah, that's classical deterministic thinking right there. The ability to "actually make it work" doesn't come from being "smart enough/hard-working enough" - making it work isn't an inborn inability, it comes from regular, incremental training. Definitely check out Waitzkin's Art of Learning. It'll do wonders for you. It's a light, easy, pleasant read too.
> I actually know that in all probability I don't have a future. Unlike, almost all of my peers I really can't have a linear life, and that is shit scary.
Do your best to catch yourself saying stuff like that, and then cut down on how much you say it. There's nothing magical about having a functional life. You figure out what you want in the long term (this takes some thinking on, and it's time well spent - it's actually pretty enjoyable to think about). Then you ask, "What's the next action?" 15 minute walk, go to the grocery store and buy oatmeal/tuna/rice/fruit, clean all your clothes and throw out the junk in your room, just reduce your email inbox a little bit from 700 down to 600 by deleting a few useless things (recently I got my inbox from 700 emails down to 3 emails over the course of two weeks, just one step at a time on it...). It's always, "What's the end goal? Okay. What's the next small step?"
There's no probability here, you're not rolling dice. If you think about what you want and take gradual steps to get there, you're almost certain to get there. If you introduce good foods to your diet while gradually quitting bad foods, your energy levels will improve. That's almost a certainty. That's how life works. You can do it. Celebrate the small wins, a successful life is a series of stringing small wins together, which eventually compound into bigger wins. In the end, it's not rocket surgery, and should be possible to anyone. You can do it.