10 years—that's the number of years it took me (in my personal and professional life) to reach a where I'm able to comfortably express what I want (although I still struggle). I often made the fatal mistake of assuming that others—like my partner, or manager—to simply "know" what it is, exactly, that I want. In retrospect, I'm unsurprised: asking for help was not something my parents, or culture (Asian), encouraged. It was the opposite.
Not only until I began managing people (in my previous role) did I realize how difficult it really is to infer what people want. I'm not a mind reader. Nobody is.
So, I agree: don't be afraid to ask for what you want.
Sometimes I feel that what holds me back from asking is a desire to not be rejected, or not to look silly for asking.
At the same time, I figure the worst that'd happen is that they say no. That's where grit comes in handy.
If you experience a lot of denial/rejection anxiety, rejection therapy tends to help as you acclimate to the feeling. Basically, do something where you'd get rejected a lot. Afterwards, if relevant, think about factors that could have led to the denial, and what could be done to mitigate them. This trains a more positive mindset in reaction to rejection.
Alternatively, you could ask while internally expecting the denial. Plan around being denied. Having that fallback helps retain confidence, instead of letting 'what could go wrong' overly bother you. With this expectation, asking for what you want makes successes pleasant surprises!
How long did it take you to actually know what you want? I'm neary 45. On one hand I want to work 3 days a week, on the other I want cash. What do I ask for? WHAT DO I ASK FOR!
10 years—that's the number of years it took me (in my personal and professional life) to reach a where I'm able to comfortably express what I want (although I still struggle). I often made the fatal mistake of assuming that others—like my partner, or manager—to simply "know" what it is, exactly, that I want. In retrospect, I'm unsurprised: asking for help was not something my parents, or culture (Asian), encouraged. It was the opposite.
Not only until I began managing people (in my previous role) did I realize how difficult it really is to infer what people want. I'm not a mind reader. Nobody is.
So, I agree: don't be afraid to ask for what you want.