I ragged on The Verge for taking 200ms to parse HTML, but if that's all The Verge was, it would be a ludicrously fast site. It's the 3.5 seconds of JS evaluation that tanks the site 's speed.
To be clear, you're saying that Chrome takes 3.5 seconds to evaluate the JavaScript, not download it, right? And what kind of processor (e.g. Intel model number) is that on?