Having a few random mixes of yours I've (somehow) collected over the years amongst others, I didn't expect to click through a random Soundcloud link and see your name.
Yes. Abusers often claim to be the victim and turn people against their target. And abusers will often provoke victims, complicating the situation.
> A few times in my life I've known people who tried to control me
And you are aware of a red flag.
Another good tool -- narcissists (other manipulators, abusers) will use fear, obligation, and guilt to control people -- FOG. If you find yourself feeling those emotions around / because of certain people, investigate carefully as to why.
There's no incentive for them to change. If they can use people and then discard them for new supply, maintaining their power over people with manipulation and games -- then why change? Change would involve becoming vulnerable, giving up their means of power, and confronting their harmful actions.
Unfortunately this means there's no incentive for them to change. Becoming a better person and having healthier relationships takes a lot of effort, and to them, they are giving up power (and becoming vulnerable) -- so why bother? And empathy for others will never be a motivator, here.
I didn't expect a jungle setlist while browsing HN — bless
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