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Generally there’s huge rewards for being a narcissist. Refusing to ever admit your wrong and instead gaslighting people around you works really well. People figure out the pattern, just shuffle them out of your life and add new people. I noticed that a few friends I grew up with developed this approach when they found it worked extremely well with women.



It works well as long as there is an abundance of people willing to stick around, which is when these people will develop this mindset. With a bit of luck they'll grow out of it once the environment no longer makes it beneficial, but many are too far gone by then.

It's part of why PUA circles (to stick with the dating example in the article) hammer "abundance mentality" so much. You don't have to deal with a person having a problem with you when, as you say, you can shuffle them out for someone else.


Unfortunately this means there's no incentive for them to change. Becoming a better person and having healthier relationships takes a lot of effort, and to them, they are giving up power (and becoming vulnerable) -- so why bother? And empathy for others will never be a motivator, here.


Yeah I mean as a general human strategy, narcissism works. Not everyone is equipped for it though


The show "Inventing Anna" is a perfect example of this. Charismatic narcissist gaslights everyone around her and anyone who doesn't plan along gets replaced with someone who will.


Depends on how deep they are into it. Some people with such traits can't keep down a job or even familial relationships without their ego getting in the way.




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