I don't see any big problems with the idea behind the story; but you might want to write it in your native language and have someone fluent in both languages translate it to English.
Also, like tsestrich said, it fails to draw in the reader. "The year was 3065" is not a magnetic, memorable, or unique opening sentence.
Also, like tsestrich said, it fails to draw in the reader. "The year was 3065" is not a magnetic, memorable, or unique opening sentence.