This is awesome! Some of these "honest" titles are much more clear than the original, academic ones. We tend to use buzzwords/keywords to try and get noticed or even "respected", but it is all complete bullshit. Research should be informative. My submission:
"Acoustic treatment materials for aircraft engines work (sort of), but we are not sure how; airplanes still loud as f..k"
(On the modelling and characterization of acoustic liners under grazing flow.)
Decisiveness is overrated. - Philosophy, University of California, Santa Cruz
Rocks that are next to each other in Massachusetts now were also next to each other 400 million years ago. - Geology, Amherst College
Rats will go to great lengths to earn a pellet of sugar, and even more so when on the right kinds of drugs. - Neuroscience, University of California, Los Angeles
This is clearly a superior format for explaining papers. Research should be accessible and it isn't. It really doesn't make much sense to have the academic profession riddled with "abstractese." That is, language that even educated people have trouble understanding without a definition sheet.
It's not that hard. I'm thinking the song "let it go" can help (define determinism as an eventual goal; at least, that is the approach I find that works for me).
It's not that it's theoretically hard, but writing a compiler with typechecking and all is just a lot of work. It's a master thesis, btw, not a doctoral one.
My own project, Glitch uses replay to work out glitches (bubbles of non determinism in a deterministic execution), it incidentally also makes writing incremental compilers easy (see http://research.microsoft.com/en-us/people/smcdirm/managedti...), and I recently used it for a new type checker (see https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__28QzBdyBU&feature=youtu.be). Ok, it's still a lot of work, but if you look at the problem you are solving, solving it can make the compiler writing aspect easier also.
Seems like this would be a good format for buzzfeed as it leaves out all relevant context, completely stamps on all the hard work put into these thesises and packs it into a nice less-than 140 characters sharable format.
"Acoustic treatment materials for aircraft engines work (sort of), but we are not sure how; airplanes still loud as f..k"
(On the modelling and characterization of acoustic liners under grazing flow.)