I think you're being a little bit dramatic. We're talking about computer professionals. The "pain" we might experience professionally is pretty mild. So we might only have a high paying but not totally self-actualizing job. If that squashes you down so hard you can't express your love to your kids, I'm not sure it's the job that's the problem.
And going the entrepreneurial route isn't exactly a way to spend more time with your kids.
I agree that escaping the rat race is a good thing overall for the family, I just disagree with the dichotomy you're presenting here.
Your brain is pretty well set, like a thermostat. If he's in pain now, with his effete lifestyle and cushy job, poverty isn't going to improve his lot.
If anything, our original poster should consider psychiatric care. This kind of seething misery isn't often fixed by dickering around your professional life.
I disagree. Talk to grad students who both don't want to quit, but also don't see any viable paths to graduation. Being in such situations - where you feel stuck - for long periods of time can lead to depression.
I think I misread your post a little. I was thinking of it in the abstract -- is the choice between self-actualization or misery -- and that seemed too extreme.
But you are right, the OP is in a lot of pain right now. And I myself have the same fears as the OP, and even taken the route that the poster wonders about, of taking time off to do some wildly impractical and creative things. It taught me a lot about myself.
I don't have a family at the moment, so it's a lot easier for me. I'm not sure what the solution is, for him, but it could just be downshifting rather than a clean break. Or, maybe he thinks he needs to do something radical.
And going the entrepreneurial route isn't exactly a way to spend more time with your kids.
I agree that escaping the rat race is a good thing overall for the family, I just disagree with the dichotomy you're presenting here.