Is a house and big savings really the stuff you want to have to show? I feel a bit like you, but what floors me is that I seem to have not fulfilled a single one of my childhood dreams. There never seemed to be the time. So I really, really try to focus on making at least some of these dreams real now. For example I always wanted to develop games. While I have created some mobile games and primitive browser games, there is none that I am proud of. So I'll focus on that - of course surviving economically is always a challenge :-/
Anyway, you probably have different dreams, but forget about the house and money. I know sometimes it can sting to see others who seemingly earned more in the same time, but in the end, it was never what I personally cared for. I would say having published books is something to show for, for example.
Also remember the law of sunk costs...
Besides of all the practical advice, there is also a philosophical aspect, isn't there? The meaning of life... It helps to think about death, and what will really matter in the end. Granted, children might be happier about inheriting a large lump of money than having a cool dad with interesting war stories. I don't know - but I personally find the thought very depressing that building a house and raising a family should be the completion of life. Nothing against raising a family, I just don't know yet what to tell my kids: I don't want to tell them "build a house and raise family and your life will be fulfilled" (infinite circle).
I personally find the thought very depressing that building a house and raising a family should be the completion of life. Nothing against raising a family, I just don't know yet what to tell my kids: I don't want to tell them "build a house and raise family and your life will be fulfilled" (infinite circle).
What a strange comment. First, the meaning of life (or the closest that life has to an intrinsic meaning coded in genes) is exactly the infinite circle that you point out. Just ask a fish or a tree :-) Second, if you go searching for some kind of meaning in life, it had better be temporally infinite! So why would you complain about that?
I probably did not explain it very well. What I don't want is to defer answering the hard question indefinitely by passing it on to my kids.
It is irrelevant that our genes/life "wants" to reproduce. We have to make up our mind as to what we want to do with life. Actually our genes/life does not want anything. It just so happens that historically reproducing was a good strategy for genes to survive (might not always be true in the future, or for all kinds of genes).
Or actually we don't have to - nothing really matters. But to me it matters. Other people are probably different, in fact I know several whose lifelong dream is exactly to own a nice house and a family. But for me to simply reproduce biologically is not enough.
Edit: of course my kids will still have to find their own answers. I just don't want them to be burdened by having to be my fulfilment in life.
I think you explained it fine. If you sacrifice your dreams in the name of your children, and accept a dull life, the example you are setting is "sacrifice your dreams and accept a dull life". But presumably you don't actually want your kids to live that way, so the strategy is an unhappy contradiction.
Anyway, you probably have different dreams, but forget about the house and money. I know sometimes it can sting to see others who seemingly earned more in the same time, but in the end, it was never what I personally cared for. I would say having published books is something to show for, for example.
Also remember the law of sunk costs...
Besides of all the practical advice, there is also a philosophical aspect, isn't there? The meaning of life... It helps to think about death, and what will really matter in the end. Granted, children might be happier about inheriting a large lump of money than having a cool dad with interesting war stories. I don't know - but I personally find the thought very depressing that building a house and raising a family should be the completion of life. Nothing against raising a family, I just don't know yet what to tell my kids: I don't want to tell them "build a house and raise family and your life will be fulfilled" (infinite circle).