Probably there aren't legitimate semantic or syntactic similarities between the three.
But for proposes of a TL;DR, I believe that a qualitative description of the situation should suffice.
I'll try again:
TL;DR: The language R lacks the quality without a name.
Or:
Jeeze, now I know why none of my previous attempts to learn a little R were fruitful.
Or:
The language R seems to have been developed in isolation and thus it fails to adhere to any particular convention--it is its own beast. Further, it sometimes lacks self-referential integrity and coherence.
I voted you up here because you were below zero and I was also about to post a comment comparing R to PHP, but I'll mention that I frequently downvote one line posts that start with "TL;DR". The concept of "too long didn't read" implies (to me, and probably others) that that the article isn't worth reading. If I think the article is worth reading, and the short comment isn't incredibly insightful, I'd usually prefer such comments to be at the bottom of the page and grayed out.
But for proposes of a TL;DR, I believe that a qualitative description of the situation should suffice.
I'll try again:
TL;DR: The language R lacks the quality without a name.
Or:
Jeeze, now I know why none of my previous attempts to learn a little R were fruitful.
Or:
The language R seems to have been developed in isolation and thus it fails to adhere to any particular convention--it is its own beast. Further, it sometimes lacks self-referential integrity and coherence.
Or:
haha cf. PHP or Excel.
:)