This is indeed way of topic, but let me try to put my experience in to words somehow.
I've found that 'smarts' have two components, an 'innate' bit that puts a hard limit on what you could understand given an infinite amount of time.
Then there is part that you control bounded by that hard limit, it is basically a function of how much time you want to put in learning.
Most people that I've met could go a lot further within their capped part than what they've done with it. For some reason or other they're content with the life that they've got and that should be more than enough for me to respect that choice. It doesn't mean they're stupid, or less intelligent, it simply means that people make choices about which part of their lives they wish to focus on.
For instance, family is for almost everybody I know (myself include) more important than smarts. My near family may do things that I can not see the reason in, but I'll support them in those choices because they are after all my family and it would be presumptuous of me to assume that because I can't see the reasoning they must be wrong.
Between spouses a similar dynamic can exist. To some extent it is priorities, to some extent it may be intellectual curiosity or some inner drive to want to know stuff.
These factors are almost never perfectly balanced, the bigger the gap the bigger the attraction has to be on other levels to overcome it. If you find that your spouse and you can not communicate about stuff that matters to you or to them then that's an obstacle. Some people avoid that obstacle all together by refusing to try to find someone that they could live with, others try and fail. And some succeed and live happily ever after ;)
If one partner feels 'superior' to another that is almost a guaranteed recipe for disaster, if there is one thing I've learned over time though it is that almost nobody has the moral right to feel superior over anybody. Intelligence is not the only yardstick that one could apply. There are many others besides, and some of those have nothing to do with being good at solving puzzles. (empathy, ethics and so on).
I've found that 'smarts' have two components, an 'innate' bit that puts a hard limit on what you could understand given an infinite amount of time.
Then there is part that you control bounded by that hard limit, it is basically a function of how much time you want to put in learning.
Most people that I've met could go a lot further within their capped part than what they've done with it. For some reason or other they're content with the life that they've got and that should be more than enough for me to respect that choice. It doesn't mean they're stupid, or less intelligent, it simply means that people make choices about which part of their lives they wish to focus on.
For instance, family is for almost everybody I know (myself include) more important than smarts. My near family may do things that I can not see the reason in, but I'll support them in those choices because they are after all my family and it would be presumptuous of me to assume that because I can't see the reasoning they must be wrong.
Between spouses a similar dynamic can exist. To some extent it is priorities, to some extent it may be intellectual curiosity or some inner drive to want to know stuff.
These factors are almost never perfectly balanced, the bigger the gap the bigger the attraction has to be on other levels to overcome it. If you find that your spouse and you can not communicate about stuff that matters to you or to them then that's an obstacle. Some people avoid that obstacle all together by refusing to try to find someone that they could live with, others try and fail. And some succeed and live happily ever after ;)
If one partner feels 'superior' to another that is almost a guaranteed recipe for disaster, if there is one thing I've learned over time though it is that almost nobody has the moral right to feel superior over anybody. Intelligence is not the only yardstick that one could apply. There are many others besides, and some of those have nothing to do with being good at solving puzzles. (empathy, ethics and so on).