Ask HN: I don´t know what to do with my life.

[_dt47]

I've been working as IT/ system manager at a call center for about 3 years now. The people at my work are very nice with only a few exceptions. Among those exceptions there's my boss. She's a woman in her mid 40's, and she treats everyone like they are nothing more than subordinates. She expects people to go out of their way to help the business by staying extra hours and cancelling other appointments to fix problems that may not concern them. I truly believe she does't realize these things kill morale and productivity, as it's just how her personality is. It certainly makes it a grim place to work at when she's around. I doubt anyone working with me can say they like her. I might add she rarely give raises or promotions, and when she does, they are disgraceful. (I know the difference between asking employees to do their work and to treat them like slaves, so if you're thinking i'm just bitchy and lazy, i'd like to say i don't think i am.) On the other hand, it seems like she's making a lot of money for the directives.

(Continued in comments)

[_dt47]

I´ve talked to her before about her way of treating others, but she claims it´s just how things work in life and that i didn´t get how businesses are run.

Oh, did i mention I´m the son of one of the directors? Yeah. I told my dad about her personality and the issues arising at work, but i think he still sees me as childish or doubts my word as things seem to work just fine from an outside view.

I´m not happy here, but i doubt i can find other job offers with the same comodities i find here(it´s walking distance from my university, and i work only 4 hours, which i can arrenge during the day to not collide with my classes.

I have these benefits because i´m the son of a board member and because i´m indispensable for the correct work of this place).

I don´t know what to do. I´m not confortable here, but i don´t think i can change that, and changing jobs seem like a very difficult task, not mentioning i probably will be very far from my university and i´ll have to work up to 8 hours. I live in Uruguay, so I don´t have many of the opportunities and commodities people in first-world countries may have. Not too much work, horrible wages, terrible education.

What would you do?

Thanks.

[trcollinson → _dt47]

Not to be short, but to frank, finish school and then leave. How much more University do you have? If you have been working there for three years, I would imagine that you have another year and you are graduated. Power through it, get the diploma, and leave the area. Sometimes in life we have to endure bad times to get to the good times. You have endured so far, and it is hard, but keep going and then find something better for yourself.

[_dt47 → trcollinson]

No.. i´m finishing my second year there. I have trouble with depression. It really hinders my progress. I'm afraid i´ll be stuck here for a while then.

[gdas → _dt47]

Regardless if you choose to stay or leave this position I think it is better to learn how to deal with this kind of people.

This kind of people think that everything happens because of them. They think everyone is replaceable, etc...

Don't try to proove anything to her and don't necessarily do things because she asks you. Center only in your job and in yourself. If possible, create side projects and succeed in these side projects as well. Free yourself from this single position and from this mind game.

If you center in your career (job + side projects) and in yourself, she'll not be able to play her game with you and everyday you'll see you have more control over your career and over your life.

[JSeymourATL]

Learning how to manage a difficult superior is a very valuable skill, increasingly beneficial as your career advances. Take this time as an unique opportunity to figure out your boss.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/understand-other-people/...

[andkon]

It seems like you need to finish school. I'm not sure what access to student loans and etc. you've got in Uruguay, but there's got to be a way for you to either go to school full-time and finish it quick, or for you to find a school in another country where you do have access to either loans or better quality education or a better wages. If the job isn't making you happy and isn't contributing to your future and you don't need it to get through school, then drop the job and put your effort into school and building things you like.

[Im_Talking]

You need to start planning, and most importantly, changing your mindset. You need to treat this job as temporary and convince yourself that, sometime soon, will be your final day. Imagine yourself going into her office with your resignation letter. Imagine this every day.

Now once you can see yourself with that resignation letter, starting right now, think about what you need to do during this period to prepare yourself for this day.