My current impression is that while efficacy is demonstrated for many drugs, how they work is poorly understood or not at all. Do you know of good reviews that cover what we know about why some drugs work and others don't? Preferably in more detail than 'free seratonin serum levels were increased.'
You are correct that how any of the drugs work is currently poorly understood. Presumably, there are individual biochemical differences in either drug receptor sites on nerve cells or in metabolism of the drug after ingestion that make some kind of treatment difference, but there are not convenient medical tests yet to predict which kind of patient will respond to which drug. When I advise friends about pondering different medical treatments for most disease, my pickling in the research on human behavior genetics in the weekly journal club I attend suggests that you look to what works for your close relatives. If a particular medicine seems to be helpful with few side effects for a first-degree relative (parent, sibling, or child), give it a try. If a particular drug has been useless for someone closely related to you, for whatever condition you are concerned about, start your search with some other drug. And so on. Eventually we MAY get to a deeper genetic understanding of individual differences in response to prescribed medicines, but we are a long way from that so far.
Not every mental illness is a chemical imbalance, it might be neurological in nature, or it could be stress based, or maybe you just need a psychotherapist and learn some coping skills?
It seems to discuss the basics of neuroscience and how the brain and mind work. It also discusses medicine and how to fix things. It might be a good read for you.