I spent many years feeling guilty because I secretly wanted to make money. Realizing that it's ok was a huge relief to me.
I'm reminded of the King of the Hill episode "Orange You Sad I Did Say Banana?" where Kahn (who always wants to be rich) becomes convinced that the should be in touch with his roots and not want or care for money. In the end he realizes that the people trying to convince him not to be rich are the rich people and he was happier being true to himself.
I'm not sure what exactly brought on the realization. I've always been a self-help/introspective kind of guy. But I know that one day many years ago I was trying to understand my core values, the things that make me, me. And I couldn't get around the fact that I wanted money even though I was ashamed to want it. So I made the decision to embrace it instead of fighting it. (or at least to try not to feel bad for wanting it.)
I came out and told my friends during one of our talks about being "real" artists. Some of my friends stopped being friends with me and I got closer to one of my friends that felt the same way. (she never said anything before because she felt ashamed.)
The biggest changes have been that I've been happier and I make more money than I ever did. I don't feel like I "sold out" or any of that nonsense I hear from time to time. I moved across the country and I have no regrets.
The downside is that my happiness is probably tied a little more with money than it was before. It can be really hard to see the positive side of life when a large financial burden comes along or I lose my source of income. Overall I think it's been a net positive change. If nothing else I don't feel guilty anymore.
I'm reminded of the King of the Hill episode "Orange You Sad I Did Say Banana?" where Kahn (who always wants to be rich) becomes convinced that the should be in touch with his roots and not want or care for money. In the end he realizes that the people trying to convince him not to be rich are the rich people and he was happier being true to himself.