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The three sentences in the box at the top are there to explain what the site's all about, right? They're important. They're also too long, and much of the text is pure padding.

Sentence one: "Select a topic below to listen in as the most vocal community of first-adopters in the world talks design."

What is this 'most vocal community of first-adopters in the world'? I'm confused!

Sentence (or rather non-sentence) two: "Often a provider of insight on tomorrow's headlines—occasionally of no use at all—always good* with morning coffee…"

What's the missing referent here? What is a provider of insight? Now I'm really confused, plus my sense is that this is just self-promotion rather than useful information, so I'm annoyed as well.

Sentence three: "Design Aviary displays the latest 99 Twitter entries relating to a variety of design topics; is updated every 10 minutes."

Oh, I get it! Why did I have to read all that other stuff before you told me what the heck is going on here?

Axe the first two sentences, and fix the grammar in the last one.



Done. I really like those other two lines though, but they obviously need some work. I killed them for now.




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