I've only heard Mr. Morris' name in passing but it sounds like he's in unbearable pain.
I'm on the fence about people's right to kill themselves. But when someone's in pain I try to accept the decision even if I disagree with it.
In that way I feel kind of weird about this.
I know I have developed friendships with people online. I care about these people as much as I care about people in the real world and if they were in this situation and wanted to say goodbye I'd want to hear it.
Launching a search party to stop him based on this goodbye discourages others from saying goodbye in the future.
I don't know. I guess if I read this message from a friend I'd probably instinctively do the same thing and rush to stop them. But as someone detached it just makes me feel uneasy.
As someone who spent a long time in that boat, $0.02:
Saying someone doesn't have a right to kill themselves implies that they should be forced to go through with whatever pain is so severe that they don't want to live. It's not fair. Forcing them to live through that is a terrible sentence.
Now, I'm all for getting people out of that situation, but you can't get out of there by force, you have to finish processing the origin/cause of the depression.
As for responding to a suicide message on IRC, it is a call for help. Their compensatory abilities to fight the depression have been exhausted, and they need external help. The proper thing to do is respond.
For programmers it can be pretty bad, especially in open source projects. Most of their daily lives are connected to very distant people with little emotional connection -- it's pretty draining if you don't have other parts of your life to counterbalance. It takes up time and energy that could be used for activities which provide better emotional support. The lack of basic emotional feedback for all the effort put in can really make things worse.
I don't know Tony at all, and in theory I do support a person's right to end their life if they wish. However, if I were in the channel at the time, I would do exactly what the channel participants did - immediately try to contact Tony, people close to him (or anyone that might know him), and the authorities.
Somehow there is a distinct difference between philosophising about the right to suicide, and a very real, specific case of a fellow human being in distress. I don't know why I feel this way, but I have a very deep feeling that this is the right thing to do.
People may have a right to kill themselves, but they don't have a right to kill themselves on a whim or without discussing it with their loved ones first.
My grandfather died from a terminal illness with unbearable pain. Had he decided to end his life rather than ride out his illness, I wouldn't have denied him that right. Maybe I would have tried to talk him out of it, but, witnessing how much he suffered, maybe I wouldn't have. I certainly wouldn't have prevented other family members from trying to talk him out of it.
I don't know whether Tony's wife and young children were aware of his intentions. If they weren't, surely they have a right to try to talk him out of it. In the absence of such information, launching a search party was the right thing to do.
It's kind of strange talking about the right to kill oneself. Of course, we mean that each of us is the master of our fate but it just sounds strange to read that someone has a right to kill oneself. If one didn't, what would happen if one ignored the fact that he doesn't have right to do it?
Anyway, I'd say it this way. I have never been there when I thought there's no other way out, maybe for a fraction of time but that may indicate I've never been in situations where people like Tony have been. So I can't really say with certainty how I'd behave in a situation like that but I can say this: The life isn't just a possession, it's, as far as we know, a remarkable gift and since nobody knows for sure what's beyond that, it's really tricky thinking whether it's better to--just not be any more. Are we sure we would be better off if we just weren't alive anymore? This brings in a lot more questions and answers depend solely upon what you believe. I believe I will always be better off by being rather than not being, until of course the time comes for that. A friend of mine, God I don't know how he's now, used to half joke saying he likes to feel pain every morning even though he could barely dress himself and function normally due to his illness, but feeling pain every morning meant that he is still alive.
But as someone already said here, what Tony did prior to disappearing was a clear call for help, even though maybe not so clear to himself. I'm hoping he finds the strength to fight indefinitely now that he can clearly see the support he has from his friends and community. I wish people close to him realize what he needs most right now is support and understanding for his condition, no matter what some people say. No one can tell for sure what he feels. A life is a serious matter, not to be taken lightly. Unfortunately, too many people find out about that too late.
I'm on the fence about people's right to kill themselves. But when someone's in pain I try to accept the decision even if I disagree with it.
In that way I feel kind of weird about this.
I know I have developed friendships with people online. I care about these people as much as I care about people in the real world and if they were in this situation and wanted to say goodbye I'd want to hear it.
Launching a search party to stop him based on this goodbye discourages others from saying goodbye in the future.
I don't know. I guess if I read this message from a friend I'd probably instinctively do the same thing and rush to stop them. But as someone detached it just makes me feel uneasy.