look I like lisp as much as the next guy, but you can "spend two hours" reading java code, write a unit test; eval said test and then woohoo! You can do that in basically any modern language.
And your first example is something that most modern languages are sold on. The truthiness of those statements can be debated, but your examples are flawed to say the least.
Point is: you can generalize and write unit tests in any language.
That is true to a degree but you really can not generalize very well at all in java. You will also be hard pressed to find java code written functionally enough that you can just run a unit test and know it is working correctly. Usually you have to instantiate many other classes and stub in test data via something like guice. There are many places for those bugs to hide in that type of setup.
And your first example is something that most modern languages are sold on. The truthiness of those statements can be debated, but your examples are flawed to say the least.
Point is: you can generalize and write unit tests in any language.