“I’m not an elitist,” Green said. “It’s just that I’d much rather sculpt or write in my journal or read Proust than sit there passively staring at some phosphorescent screen.”
Off-topic, but this Onion piece is a bit weak. The hook is that the man is obnoxious about his habit of not watching TV, and that's all there is to it.
Some stuff from the Onion is genius, but this is not it.
https://theonion.com/area-man-constantly-mentioning-he-doesn...