"We’re starting CriticalArc and we’re focussed on providing solutions to problems that depend on streaming status and location in real time."
Ever since the 90s, the word "solutions" just makes my eyes glaze over. To be fair, it gets interesting after that, but this is not a good way to introduce your company.
For me, that was an especially good starting statement, though with no cliffhanger as such.
It reflected the emailer's intention to not waste my time. Tells me who they are, and tells me it's not a sort of long-winded spam. Sure, I have skimmed it (glazed over?) and came back to it later after reading other parts of the email. But it gave me the option to bail out while promising interesting things if I am interested.
"We’re starting CriticalArc and we’re focussed on providing solutions to problems that depend on streaming status and location in real time."
Ever since the 90s, the word "solutions" just makes my eyes glaze over. To be fair, it gets interesting after that, but this is not a good way to introduce your company.