Dementia is a part of my condition (which seems to be idiopathic, presenting symptoms of both Parkinson's and Huntington's). The motor difficulties and aphasic episodes are the things that I can't explain away, even though the explanations for other things are often quite convoluted. There was a period of some weeks a couple of years ago now when I amassed what must have been the largest privately-held collection of tomato ketchup in Canada, apparently by going shopping for food I needed and, having no idea why I was in a grocery store (or, for that matter, which store I was in) deciding that I was probably nearly out of ketchup anyway, and that I could get out of the store without embarrassment if I bought a bottle. I lost nearly thirty pounds that month, and wound up in the hospital twice due to extreme dehydration. Apparently I was not particularly nice to the people who were trying to help me, since I didn't need their damned help anyway, and they were trying to poison me. Things are considerably better now with medication, but there are still times when I find myself completely lost in what should be familiar territory. And I'm no longer really attached to anybody; it's like that part of me is missing now, and I can't sustain anything like caring. I don't know how much of the depression and irritation is part of the pathology and how much is just frustration and fear (terror, really) that never really goes away. Sometimes I think that if there is ever a root cause found and a cure effected, it would take me many years before I would trust normal life again.
