If it doesn't, choose the other or closest option. It's unlikely there isn't one.
> there are places where IDs allow for more than those two options.
Sure, like here in NYC. That's really more of a personality thing IMO, which gets conflated with sex. Wherever necessary, things still reduce down to a binary choice, with the rest being details.
I'll retract that 'generally' then, and substitute it with 'always', since that's a mathematical certainty. There won't be any humans that are perfectly balanced with a completely equal distribution of all traits that we assign to one of the binary choices. Barring that, someone will always fall on one side.
Sure, though, we have the tech and ability to handle more than two, but until we get to the point where that's the norm not every situation where we don't isn't one where the sky falling.
You likely still identify as masc or femme in some sense, so chose the closest option.
My point is simply that there is likely a 'closest option'. Obviously people don't have to use any service they feel doesn't cater to them, but when a service doesn't always offer more than the binary it doesn't have to always be a "woe is me, how could I ever proceed" scenario.
Consensus on criticism you don’t like does not equal brigading. Everyone so far has been respectful and commented on the thing that is most salient about the website. And of course it’s around the same time, the post was just submitted.
If everyone keeps saying you reek, consider giving your armpits a sniff before accusing everyone of ganging up.
Your comment was extremely dismissive and disrespectful to OP, so you'll have to forgive us for being suspicious when they all pop up at the same time with the exact same tone.
Even if it's "end-to-end encrypted", what stops me from opening two connections simultaneously and connecting them to one another in order to eavesdrop?
The UI is nice and clean but the chat partner takes a while (closed out of it while waiting), I'd say try to add indication of estimated wait times, and honestly? A mini game while you wait like the dinosaur on Chrome. Or, at least a request to notify you when someone does get connected.
It’s a bit awkward that “in 2025” (your words) you’re focusing so heavily on gender, especially with a subpar implementation: You only allow “male” and “female” (which right off the bat will make many people close the website, even if they identify with either), have zero checks (as if people didn’t lie about that on the internet all the time), and make people type it themselves (when it should be a dropdown or radio button, if you only allow limited choice).
Why be so adamant about it? It’s not like you built a dating service. The website has a shady vibe in general, I expect most women will be put off by the very thought of outing themselves to thirsty creeps.
Living in a bubble means you are unaware of outside perspectives.
For instance, if person A says “there are people who believe the Earth is flat” and person B denies they exist, the latter is living in a bubble because they are unaware of other widespread ideas (regardless of their accuracy or lack thereof). Person A doesn’t need to believe or agree with a viewpoint to understand there are people who do.
I have met people who would reject the website for that reason and those who wouldn’t. By all means, discuss and disagree with it, but don’t close your eyes and ears and deny their existence. If you don’t realise both camps exist, by definition you are the one in the bubble.
Which I don’t fault you for, because to an extent we all live in bubbles. It is impossible for any human in one lifetime to be aware of all different realities. The very fact that we have access to HN and choose to comment here already places us in a bubble which excludes most of the world. Every other facet of our lives puts us in different bubbles of different sizes for different contexts. To believe oneself immune to or devoid of bubbles falls somewhere between the naive and the arrogant.
What I mean by "living in a bubble" is you believing something that is not true, because everyone in the bubble is telling you its true.
Hence you believing that only including M/F as gender options is something that would greatly affect the success of an app.
That is flat out not true. I promise you the vast majority of the world, or even the vast majority of the anglosphere do not care. People like the OP from other cultures do not even understand what you are talking about. Only your bubble believes it to be relevant.
> Hence you believing that only including M/F as gender options is something that would greatly affect the success of an app.
That is neither what I believe nor what I wrote. You are making up that argument in your head and attacking a straw man.
If you open a restaurant which only serves spicy food and I tell you “many people won’t come here because they dislike spicy food” while giving you a list of reasons why your spices aren’t even applied correctly, that is not the same as saying “only having spicy food will greatly affect the success of your restaurant”. Rather, it is asking you to consider if you really need to limit yourself to one kind of food.
That should be obvious from my post (and apparently was for most people). My criticism was respectful and focused precisely on asking why be so adamant about something which isn’t verified, is notoriously lied about, and isn’t even relevant to the stated goal.
Perhaps look inward and consider if your own bubble is instilling in you a knee-jerk reaction to instinctively categorise the words of strangers into one-dimensional categories you must agree or disagree with, completely missing any nuance and distorting your own perception of reality.
> People like the OP from other cultures do not even understand what you are talking about.
Please stop ascribing beliefs to and assuming ignorance in other people. That is the definition of thinking in a bubble. I urge you to reexamine your own ideals and understanding of the global world we inhabit.
You're getting awfully defensive for rmild criticism of what you wrote. And now you are doing a Motte and Bailey, pulling back when pointed out its indefensible. You wrote:
> You only allow “male” and “female” which right off the bat will make many people close the website, *even if they identify with either*
We are not in a restaurant and talking about food where there are so, so many choices. We are talking about implementing drop down menu for gender lol. In context, saying that many people will outright close the app is clearly implying that you think the success of the app can be affected.
And the reason?
Because they only allow male and female. Those are your words.
Demonstrating nothing of the sort lol. Central Asia still have strong gender norms. In many places they are still thinking the role of women in society is to marry and have children. The idea of NB is not even in its infancy there.
Clearly this conversation won’t ever lead anywhere productive. You’re surprisingly incapable of comprehending what an analogy is, separating an individual from a group (both myself and OP), or revisiting your own biases. You don’t get to tell other people what they imply or don’t, especially once they repeatedly point out your misunderstanding. Have some humility. There is no shame in admitting when you’re wrong and moving on.
For example: I was wrong to believe you were arguing in good faith and that providing more context would make us reach an understanding. I should have realised that your initial message was already an attempt to be dismissive instead of taking you at your word. Which in hindsight makes sense; if you are duplicitous in your words, you expect others to be the same. My sincere wish is that one day you are lucky enough to to understand the world isn’t black and white and not every issue requires taking a side.
By making gender matching even a thing at all, they're obviously trying to make another horny creep site. Otherwise you wouldn't have that feature and certainly wouldn't ask it first thing.
Consider it a compliment that transgender and nonbinary people are considered wise enough to stay off such sites.
>Gender includes the social, psychological, cultural and behavioral aspects of being a man, woman, or other gender identity. Depending on the context, this may include sex-based social constructs as well as gender expression.
Changing the app on iOS causes the WebSocket to fail, which made it so that my chat was lost. Sending new messages didn’t make me connect automatically, which is a shame.
okeyyyyyyyy, next steps:
1. will update gender selection to something meaningful (even a bit nice options).
2. will add games, or something nice things while you are connecting with stranger.
3. and many more interesting things specifically for "one-time" approach stuff. lol
i can imagine most first messages looking like "a/s/l?"(age, sex, location).
source: was once a teenage boy with internet access.