Ask HN: What Motivates You?

[AbstractH24]

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about what drives me.

On its surface it’s things like curiosity, desire to solve problems, interest to create new things, want to help people. Things I think a lot of people here might say (although maybe I’m wrong).

When I look a layer beneath that though, for why I want to achieve those things, I see a lot of fear of what’ll occur if I don’t achieve them. Fear of rejection, fear of not paying the bills, fear of being a failure, fear of others not understanding or validating me, etc. And an assumption that by default those fears will come to fruition if I don’t work hard to keep them at bay.

Trying to figure out how I can replace those “second layer goals” with something more positive. But I’m having trouble determining even ideas of what those could be. So curious what others might say.

(For context, I’m 35, married without kids or a immediate plan to have them or certainty we want them and not religious)

[toomuchtodo]

Empathy, generosity, and the desire to see good, kind people happy, safe, secure, and self actualized. We are all temporary, built on star dust briefly coalesced. Make the most of it.

https://theoatmeal.com/comics/be_kind

[morkalork]

Anger and spite carried me through 4 years of university. I was a complete slacker in highschool and completely bored and disconnected with the course work. Not that I couldn't do it, or was stupid, I just didn't care about it at all. My family, being ever so kind and insightful, started making snide and sarcastic comments about me to my face. That was the breaking point so I redid a couple classes, jacked up my grades, applied to university, got a scholarship and moved away. That rage carried me pretty far. The one mistake I made was applying to do a masters and completely burning out. I should've gone straight into the workforce and relaxed, enjoying the money earned from success.

[AbstractH24 → morkalork]

> The one mistake I made was applying to do a masters and completely burning out. I should've gone straight into the workforce and relaxed, enjoying the money earned from success.

In my experience, this mentatlity leads to burn out. Regardless of university or workforce. Or even so rich you can be job-less.

Plus, its very lonley.