There is no pub to walk to, grocery store to walk to, no shared public space for walking and cycling to places, there’s no concept of being in a space shared with others. It’s that you simply don’t see people unless you choose it. If you live in the city you learn quickly to be around others. At least that’s my experience.
Rural areas tend to have strong social communities, though, despite all of those same, if not exacerbated, conditions.
Based on several adjacent discussions it seems not that the suburbs cause isolation, but that those who prefer to live in isolation are more likely to choose to live in the suburbs – presumably because it offers the isolation they seek. Even if an individual in the suburbs does not wish for isolation, if everyone else there does that limits the social possibilities.
I have lived in rural Vermont and that was only true if you were the right kind of rural Vermonter. There were plenty of those who didn’t belong and never would with no alternative they might find in the city.
I think it is fair to say that large cities are more likely to cater to those who are unique, but large cities return to the same problem again: Everything is far away and you have to get into vehicle (granted, it might be a publicly operated one) to reasonably be able to engage with it. The chances of your neighbour being of the same unique blend that you seek is no greater in the city than in the country.
At which point it really makes no difference if you physically reside within city limits or live in a suburban/rural area as the time and effort to get to the places that cater to your particular niche approaches being about the same in all cases. In fact, in my experience, it is often easier to access the amenities of a large city when you don't live in it!
Needing to take a vehicle that’s not my feet wasn’t true when I lived in Berlin or Tokyo. It definitely wasn’t true in smaller cities I’ve lived in like Oslo, Brest, or Utrecht. Needing a car was only ever true when I lived in Austin and atlanta. And I’m talking about going out to bars, hanging out with friends, going places, like yeah maybe I needed the train occasionally but really the train is a room you hang out in for ten minutes while you magically transport somewhere else. It’s not like driving a car. You don’t have to think about it.
Edit: ok I take that back we always used a car to drive ten minutes to tryvann ski mountain in Oslo but that’s because we have jobs and the bus takes like 40 minutes.
Perhaps you missed the part about someone being unique? Not even the largest cities offer that uniqueness on every street corner. Yeah, maybe there is a bar on every street corner, but generally they are going to cater to the population at large. If you fit into that scene, you are already the "right kind of Vermonter".
There is probably one or two places in the city that cater to that kind of uniqueness, but the chances of it being next door is unlikely. Most likely you'll have to travel long distances to find it. Longer than your feet can reasonably take you. At which point it doesn't matter all that much which direction you are coming from.
>At which point it really makes no difference if you physically reside within city limits or live in a suburban/rural area as the time and effort to get to the places that cater to your particular niche approaches being about the same in all cases.
What is your reference point here? This isn't the case in any large European, Asian or dense US city like NYC, Boston and Chicago.
