>I don't approach it seeking some lesson or greater truth, just have a nice time, which is maybe the final lesson lol.
I relate to this a lot. After a friend died in 2020, I started down that rabbit hole increasing dosages for look "perspective" or "truth" that ended up cumulating into an overdose and an overnight hospital stay. At that point, I realized that going into these things searching for something / using as a coping mechanism is fruitless and it's a more "enjoy the journey" type of thing. I was hoping for an epiphany that would set me on some steel-willed journey, but that never came.
Seems to me like you did learn something. That you were not a steel-willed journyman prone to epiphanies. I know it may sound silly, but there is some true value to that. Who’s to say those experiences didn’t speed up something you may orherwise would have spent even more time and resources on pursuing.
Disclaimer: I of course do not know you or anything about you except for your comment.
> At that point, I realized that going into these things searching for something / using as a coping mechanism is fruitless
One failure does not prove something is not possible.
When under the influence, have you ever encountered knowing that the reality we experience here is not what it seems to be? Bringing these things back (especially in a persistent manner) is tough, but most people can recall the phenomenon abstractly.
Lol depersonalization and derealization and dissociation and DMT elves are awesome, but the reason the ideas are so fleeting, consulate, vague... yet determinate; is because they are completely fabricated illusions of abstract collective unconscious archetypes.
They are no more or less real than the rest of our artifacts from evolution.
But attempting to give any more credence to these phenomena than to dreams or intrusive thoughts is essentially a dragon hunt of sorts.
Highly agree with this take. It’s best if it gives you a fuzzy and unclear image to steer towards. Overdone doesn’t seem to be leading to anything, like steering in circles and exhausting your fuel.
