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Personally, I think this has to do with not being very good at making friends when I was younger.



Tell me about it. I have a perfect blend of being almost friendless as a kid, bullied then major friendship issues as an adult that made me not trust friends then move country and have kids, and heath issues. To boot: i am an intovert and anxious. So yeah happyish to not have friends. It feels like a monumental effort to fix that now and not a big concern ad I focus on lower maslov needs like survival.




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