I hear you on "yeah, the patch works, but I don't want it" - or..., as I've had a few times "that works, but it's not the way I want it done - redo it my way". Had that happen a couple times, in tech stacks and projects I'm not comfortable in. I'm not an expert in tech X, and don't have time to become one, to learn 'your way' just to make a PR you find acceptable. I found a legit bug, gave you code to reproduce and a suggested fix; please reformat it if you don't like my way.
I also had an opposite experience - submitted a PR with a fix, and the maintainer rewrote it a 'better' way which addressed the problem higher up the stack, meaning it 'fixed' things in a couple other spots I didn't even know about. That was such a great thing to do, and reminded me that projects can be that collaborative, even when you don't really 'work' with the other people all the time.
I might suggest you find smaller and more focused projects to contribute or donate to. The spirit you're looking for is still out there. Your Mozilla donations individually don't mean much to them, and sending some money to GNOME doesn't mean they'll take your emails seriously. A more niche project addressing a more focused problem would more likely welcome your code and donations, and potentially let you have a 'voice' more effectively than at big projects.
I also had an opposite experience - submitted a PR with a fix, and the maintainer rewrote it a 'better' way which addressed the problem higher up the stack, meaning it 'fixed' things in a couple other spots I didn't even know about. That was such a great thing to do, and reminded me that projects can be that collaborative, even when you don't really 'work' with the other people all the time.
I might suggest you find smaller and more focused projects to contribute or donate to. The spirit you're looking for is still out there. Your Mozilla donations individually don't mean much to them, and sending some money to GNOME doesn't mean they'll take your emails seriously. A more niche project addressing a more focused problem would more likely welcome your code and donations, and potentially let you have a 'voice' more effectively than at big projects.