A well-meaning but frustrated parent might try that move in the moment but not consider what it could mean from their child's perspective. "My parent could leave me" should never be a potential consequence for misbehaving.
They're probably more aware of it because of worse things they've endured like it. A severe example is kicking your kid out of the car and driving off without them. Or packing them a bag and forcing them out of the apartment.
This. I was in the car with my mom and I wouldn't shut up. She told me to and if I didn't, she'd make me walk home. Open my mouth I did!
I walked maybe 2 miles home. Stopped in every store/business where I knew someone. I stopped in the stationary store, the little 5 and dime, a doctor's office. Said hello and chatted a bit. I had to have been 7 or 8. Some folks asked where my mom was and I told them what happened. I have no recollection of what they said. All I know is that I walked on home. Thank goodness there were sidewalks and that I knew where I was going.
What had a much greater negative effect was the walkathon. I was a fat kid and somehow decided I was going to walk 20 miles to raise money for some charity. No one, most of all my father, thought I would walk more than a couple of miles. So neighbors, friends, colleagues of 'rents pledged $20/mile.
Day of, my friend and I were told to go to friend's mom's office when we finished and she'd drive us home. Off we went! Thank goodness we had some idea where we were. It took us all. day. long. We went to a wedding, watched some cute guys play basketball, admired gardens, and talked and talked. We were at the tail end and had no idea if anyone was in front of us or what time it was. Got to the center of town and the organizers had packed up. We had to walk probably 1/2 mile to friend's mom's office. . . and I finally showed up at home and it was like I'd never gone! Sometimes the walkaton pops into my head and I wonder how the hell my parents were not worried about me. More now that my mother has moved in with us and we talk more. I actually asked her about it the other day and she remembers nothing about the walk other than I walked all 20 miles.
End of the world? Absolutely not. But it sure taught me about what my parents thought I could do.
#5 is the only one I do, but because I never thought about it as a fear mechanic - I'll definitely avoid doing this now. That said, what's a good alternative? Sometimes you don't have time to bargain, is picking them up kicking and screaming actually better?
Yes, it is that bad. I used to do it a lot. Didn't help the slightest. As soon as I adopted an "I'll do it for you" strategy everyone's lives started to improve. Even mine.
Yes, it is that bad. I used to do it a lot. Didn't help the slightest. As soon as I adopted an "I'll do it for you" strategy everyone's lives started to improve. Even mine.
Yeah my 10-month old son asks for me constantly(da da di da ta ti) if I'm away from him for more than a few hours. Separation is really tough for them to deal with because they don't have the tools or sophistication to understand why we're gone and that we're coming back. I had to spend a few weeks away from him when he was 4 months when my wife needed to be somewhere with a working kitchen and a clean floor and I needed to repair our kitchen and I think he was "colicky" during that time because he didn't understand where I was or when I would be back. This persisted during the week and then when I would spend the day with them he would calm down.
It's threatening abandonment if they fail to comply with whatever whim you have. It's actually one of the most traumatic things you can do to a small child - because they've learned what you want is all that matters, and if they don't guess what you want properly, they'll be left without a parent.
