If you think you know who I am, no you don't. I'm leaving major details out.
Principal Engineer at one of whatever we're calling the tech companies with ten figure market caps. A couple nice exits from previous jobs. Low seven figure net worth. Married. Lots of friends. In my late 30s to mid 40s.
You'd probably recognize some of my projects.
I was in a gifted and talented program for a while as a kid. Tested at 99.9th percentile.
ADHD, ASD, treatment resistant depression. ACE score of 5, but I feel that misses a lot of very specific trauma.
One of my previous partners abused me. That was many years ago, but I still have severe anxiety, constantly worried someone will scream at me for things I had no control over.
I'm so depressed I have trouble taking care of myself and regularly think about killing myself. In therapy for years, not sure if it's helping.
I genuinely have no idea how I hold myself together at work, it's like I'm a different person there.
How much more could I have been, had things been a little different?
Hey friend - check out dissociation and that realm. It’s one of the things that often comes out of trauma, and allows us the superpower to be who we need to be to survive and even thrive, but can carry big deficits in self image and ability to handle our emotions.
Principal Engineer at one of whatever we're calling the tech companies with ten figure market caps. A couple nice exits from previous jobs. Low seven figure net worth. Married. Lots of friends. In my late 30s to mid 40s.
You'd probably recognize some of my projects.
I was in a gifted and talented program for a while as a kid. Tested at 99.9th percentile.
ADHD, ASD, treatment resistant depression. ACE score of 5, but I feel that misses a lot of very specific trauma.
One of my previous partners abused me. That was many years ago, but I still have severe anxiety, constantly worried someone will scream at me for things I had no control over.
I'm so depressed I have trouble taking care of myself and regularly think about killing myself. In therapy for years, not sure if it's helping.
I genuinely have no idea how I hold myself together at work, it's like I'm a different person there.
How much more could I have been, had things been a little different?