On: I love my wife. My wife is dead (1946)

[swyx]

> It has taken me nearly 10 years to build a network of friends who can give me comparable levels of socialization and attention;

building close friends as an adult is a known Hard Problem when everyone has their own lives. any big insights or breakthroughs you can share for the rest of us?

[elteto → swyx]

Prioritize for empathy as a quality you look for in people. I find that empathic people tend to be very, very good friends.

And lots of flexibility and forgiveness (for small things).

[m_st → swyx]

I second this. My best friends are still the childhood friends. Every time I'm getting closer with someone new it fails sooner or later because of other duties we already have in life.

[te_chris → m_st]

Make time for people. Be open. Choose love and kindness. Accept that relationships are a journey and take effort - on both sides.

It won't always work. I've done pretty well at this tbh, but it has helped living in a city like London where soicalising is one of the main activites and easily facilitated - to an extent at least. Context is key, no doubt.

Marathon, not a sprint. Everyone's busy so gradually making yourself a mutual part of another person's life will take time.

[space_oddity → swyx]

Balancing personal responsibilities and finding time for meaningful connections is hard for me. That's why I have so little friends...