For me I had a little phase of not understanding the despair and hatred I received for forking Audacity at the time. I didn't understand why people would do that, and neither why they decide to have "fun" being a bully online and lying about things that never happened. When /pol/ and kiwifarms came at me, I wasn't sure how to deal with that, especially because most rumors supposedly happened when I was asleep, not even reacting to what was happening at the time.
So it kind of resulted in a phase that you are describing, where I kind of gave up on open source and gave up on doing the things that I loved to do before.
What I can recommend, heavily: shut off your phone, go outside for a couple weeks, no tech, no internet, nobody nagging or forcing you to do anything. And listen. To nature, to the environment, to what you think. Take with you a notebook and a pen, and write down your thoughts. Persist on not going online, and fight the addiction.
Social detox and meditation is much more efficient than one might think, if you have no predefined goal on what you want to do. If your goals are set by external influences, you won't be happy with it.
Best wishes, I understand how hard it can be sometimes. Don't lose your head in things you don't want to do.
A big part of "finding yourself" is likely related to introspection, which is interrupted by constantly being bombarded with attention grabbing mechanisms.
> shut off your phone, go outside for a couple weeks, no tech, no internet, nobody nagging or forcing you to do anything. And listen. To nature, to the environment, to what you think. Take with you a notebook and a pen, and write down your thoughts. Persist on not going online, and fight the addiction.
Cal Newport's book, Digital Minimalism, is on this topic of disconnecting. It's not what I was expecting going into the book, but it was very interesting and something I hadn't really considered before. People today spend little to no times with their own thoughts, and always have some other form of input pushing their mind one way or another, be in a social feed, podcast, book, news, or music. It is very easy to always use those things to fill any void with distractions.
> I didn't understand why people would do that, and neither why they decide to have "fun" being a bully online and lying about things that never happened.
Like, do you have an autism diagnosis or something? You're claiming mystification at a basic, rudimentary feature of human behavior. It's like not understanding humor or something.
So it kind of resulted in a phase that you are describing, where I kind of gave up on open source and gave up on doing the things that I loved to do before.
What I can recommend, heavily: shut off your phone, go outside for a couple weeks, no tech, no internet, nobody nagging or forcing you to do anything. And listen. To nature, to the environment, to what you think. Take with you a notebook and a pen, and write down your thoughts. Persist on not going online, and fight the addiction.
Social detox and meditation is much more efficient than one might think, if you have no predefined goal on what you want to do. If your goals are set by external influences, you won't be happy with it.
Best wishes, I understand how hard it can be sometimes. Don't lose your head in things you don't want to do.