I certainly appreceate the sentiment behind this, but I'm not sure that opting out of all group activities is going to work all that well for the overall team.
Yeah, standup is a tax, but it's also a little bit important to see and be seen, and to know what is going on (unless you can convince your whole team to adopt this work style)
Completely agree. Sabotaging the team practices won't get you far.
That's exactly the problem with implementing things like standup and retros.
You're confining information that would be shared asynchronously and in written form to a boring meeting nobody is interested in listening to.
I hate standups, I won't listen to your update, if I need something I'll ask in the team channel.
Before standups were a thing people just wrote when they finished something in a channel. They didn't waste an entire day and waited for a meeting to say it in an effort to appear busy.
Before retros were a thing people just wrote whatever problem they had in the room and people could discuss problems in real time. Now they waste an entire month and then write a passive aggressive post-it on a Miro board - which most likely will end up ignored because look at how many others action points we have.
People adapt to situations and they don't need formal processes to act correctly.
If they do need them, you should fire heads that can't think.
People over processes was Agile's mantra, why have we forgotten that?
Nowadays "agile" is worse than waterfall: same load in processes and bureaucracy, none of the planning.
> I hate standups, I won't listen to your update, if I need something I'll ask in the team channel.
If you won't listen to my update, why should I read and respond to your question?
Please spend five minutes of your day actually working with your coworkers, instead of making extra work for them later on because you can't be bothered to sit still and listen for five minutes.
> If you won't listen to my update, why should I read and respond to your question?
I think there is a different perspective that you are not considering: one hates to listen to your and other N people updates, every single day. And, most of it, is not new or not correlated to one's work.
> Please spend five minutes of your day actually working with your coworkers, instead of making extra work for them later on because you can't be bothered to sit still and listen for five minutes.
Again, there is another perspective: because one wants to give you enough attention, one wants to have a one-on-one communication, independently of the time-box or shallowness of stand-up meetings.
When I was junior, I used to think that (daily) stand-up meetings were an incredible idea. But on time, I realised they are busy work and do not represent, at all, "working with your coworkers", as you said. Actually, quite the contrary: it is shallow work, and that isn't as relevant as the deep work coworkers do in, for example, pair debugging sessions.
Yeah, standup is a tax, but it's also a little bit important to see and be seen, and to know what is going on (unless you can convince your whole team to adopt this work style)