Yeah, i'm not a fan of Ubuntu either. But if Linux isn't for you, that's great. I don't think any of us should work to convince you otherwise. We're fine. You're fine. No problem.
And I agree, you cant really have a back and forth about it, trying to score points. The requirements are too myriad these days.
Hence my Chromebook comment - because for someone that just needs a device that gives them access to a web browser environment and some apps, it's a good choice.
I was aware Chromebooks are Linux, which is good :-)
I do like Linux - and do use it as my desktop dev environment from time to time. When I feel like a change from macOS.
P.S. Chromebook is Linux under the hood.