> However i do recommend a change in personal environment
This seems exceptionally vague. If you're telling me to get therapy as many have, I can tell you I've been in therapy for much of my life at this point and on one medication or another as well, but they never seem to be able to create any meaning to any of this. I do have appointments with new ones scheduled actually, but I suspect I'll still be bothered by the same issues that have plagued me for much of my life at this point; the "Death of God" as Nietzshce would call it and the continuing environmental degradation I have to live through (my hometown set a new high temperature record this year and it was oppressively hot all summer). I don't think a new medication will solve this, but I obviously am still willing to try. I can't help but wonder, what if I'm not depressed, but simply see things clearly?
> I can't help but wonder, what if I'm not depressed, but simply see things clearly?
I am not of the opinion that you are depressed nor am i recommending therapy. What i am recommending is a change of setting. You’d be surprised how your outlook changes once in the right environment. Also i am not saying you are wrong all i am saying is that it depends on how you look at things and what things dominate your life and the setting influences both. Issues may be more acute in certain parts of the world than others. For instance in country people living in London can only dream of owning a property, whereas outside london thats not an issue. That doesnt negate the problem of london housing. Similarly weather patterns are shifting to worse in some areas but to better somewhere else. Theres loads of nuance around us.
It's a fair point and I appreciate the sentiment (and the extended HN conversation which is sometimes a rarity). I live in South Texas where I am a native and think about moving north as it only gets hotter here. I did mention the pre-existing condition earlier which makes things harder since my job, family, friends and support system are all local and built over a lifetime. Perhaps for me the change is to get a hip replacement and potentially alleviate much of my disability (which is mild compared to what some face, but gives me trouble nonetheless). It's a hell of a thing to imagine a doctor taking a saw to your femur and replacing it with titanium and plastic, but also an amazing feat of modern medicine no doubt. Maybe I'll just change apartments in the meantime lol.
Leaving one’s nest is difficult, particularly when it provides for all the needs. Perhaps one can leave just for the peak heat season, opposite of people leaving cold areas in winters. You go somewhere nice and cold for the summer. Or perhaps in the spirit of HN one can explore unconventional ways to cool down.
Surgery is tricky. I had one recently and asked the nurses to drug the shit out of me. When i saw pipes one with blood coming out of my belly and one stuck in my willy i felt i was going to pass out. I even considered asking to be put down humanely. When they pulled it out i asked for permission to curse and boy i did. A person in a bed next to mine said they had a boner when they removed theirs. To each his own i suppose.
But i did have my surgery, it’s all sorted and a thing of the past, i am recovering, all is good. It’s a thing that a decade or two form now will be just another “ah yeah i did that”. Water under the bridge. My mind is somehow erasing the memory because it now feels as if it happened in another life. Of course each experience is unique but overall i’m laughing at myself at how scared i was, and i am a full grown adult. I say that now but i’d terrified of doing it again. There were bits that did hurt but 90% was all in my head - mostly what ifs, and they suck more than pain. As everyone else i too have fears but some things just need to be done - assuming the risks are low, and other t&cs. Just like data, you “click” your head, switch in low power mode, and walk through hell. There’s light at the end.
Yep, I would occasionally spend a week in Colorado in August which is a nice respite, so it's a good suggestion and reminder.
And you're right about the surgery, though sadly it's not necessarily a one-time thing, but a part that could require future surgeries to maintain (though the hope is that current materials will mean it will last decades). Nevertheless I try and tell myself what you said, that it's a few weeks or months of life to recover and then on with it. The what ifs are indeed the worst, but both people I've talked to online and in my life have gone through with it much success. A therapist would say to focus on the good outcomes rather than the negative, and the statistics really do bare that out too.
This seems exceptionally vague. If you're telling me to get therapy as many have, I can tell you I've been in therapy for much of my life at this point and on one medication or another as well, but they never seem to be able to create any meaning to any of this. I do have appointments with new ones scheduled actually, but I suspect I'll still be bothered by the same issues that have plagued me for much of my life at this point; the "Death of God" as Nietzshce would call it and the continuing environmental degradation I have to live through (my hometown set a new high temperature record this year and it was oppressively hot all summer). I don't think a new medication will solve this, but I obviously am still willing to try. I can't help but wonder, what if I'm not depressed, but simply see things clearly?