One of the things I still have trouble not taking personally are insults. They're easier to take from kids, but from a grown adult who I consider a peer in at least some areas it's hard to brush off. [Funny enough, I have an easier time with it in person than with text.]
If you view someone insulting you as a child, it softens the impact. My main question here, though, is when do you stop doing that (if ever)?
If an adult is knowingly insulting me in front of peers/family and not fully joking, I can't imagine not taking that personally.
Whatever you do, including taking no action at all, is sending a message to your peers/family which they'll receive in varying ways. However much you care about them having an accurate perception of you, it's probably not zero for every last one-- so choosing a course of action and being able to explain it is not optional at that point. It is a personal problem that has been inflicted upon you.
That is true, I was only thinking about political or social discussions, not personal attacks. But I suppose its different if you're, say, living in the West Bank, and someone online is discussing how Israel's "right to exist" justifies their encroachment in a way that has personally affected your own livelihood--what is the difference there, between the personal insult and the broader political discourse?
Though there is definitely a distinction between those who are relatively secure in their lives, and who get "offended" if you question that security, and those who are endangered and fighting for their own livelihood involves these sorts of social discussions. But I don't think we can broadly categorize who is "endangered" and who isn't, because then there is the danger of those who are secure claiming insecurity on the basis of a classification alone, and using it to deflect such aformentioned criticism. Such categories are revealed through struggle, not before or outside of it.
If you view someone insulting you as a child, it softens the impact. My main question here, though, is when do you stop doing that (if ever)?
If an adult is knowingly insulting me in front of peers/family and not fully joking, I can't imagine not taking that personally.
Whatever you do, including taking no action at all, is sending a message to your peers/family which they'll receive in varying ways. However much you care about them having an accurate perception of you, it's probably not zero for every last one-- so choosing a course of action and being able to explain it is not optional at that point. It is a personal problem that has been inflicted upon you.